2 days into his 14 day isolation in Canberra, it seems Scott Morrison is being forced to reshuffle his Federal Cabinet – and has had no say in the matter.

The Australian PM is now back in quarantine after a very self-indulgent to London where he got to hang out with Biden and Boris, while also striking up a pointless free trade deal with the UK.

Morrison skipped town to get a few photos of him doing Prime Ministery stuff with other world leaders at the G7 summit he wasn’t invited to, as whispers of an early election began last month.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is now looking for someone to fill the void left in their export market after irrationally decided to leave the EU – while Australia needs to find someone else to trade with after stirring up China to the point where they stopped buying our beef, wine, barley and iron ore. The UK, with a population equivalent to 4.3% of China’s – looks like our best bet.

Currently, there remains differences over tariffs and quotas on agricultural goods and Mr Morrison says he wants to go back to the good old days where we only sold stuff to England, around the time of the Wool Crash.

This now means that Asian people will be used as indentured servants on fruit and dairy farms, as Morrison assures Boris that British backpackers will no longer have to be put through these kind of humiliating visa requirements.

However, this little jaunt to his ‘ancestral home’ does not appear to be worth it for Prime Minister Morrison, who has just witnessed his Deputy PM get rolled while still shaking off his jet lag.

With no chance to sit down for a face to face with any of the disgruntled Nats over the last few weeks of gallivanting, Morrison is now starting to wonder if he really needed to go to the UK at all.

With 12 days of Quarantine ahead of him, Morrison is now coming to terms with the fact that Barnaby Joyce has gone from a drunken backbencher to ACTING PRIME MINISTER in the space of an hour.

It is also not lost on anyone, in either party, that the soft-handed pentecostal might not be that capable of working alongside the rum-swilling firebrand from Tamworth.



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