Australians around the nation are letting out a small collective sigh as they acknowledge the annual picture of our ‘sometimes-for-a-treat’ Prime Minister Scott Morrison singing with his eyes closed at a super-Church is on the way.

The Easter long weekend is a four-day break made up of two public holidays on either side of a weekend to observe the death and resurrection of the Prime Ministers on/off best friend, Jesus Christ.

Although the event is a Christian holiday, everyone is given four days off regardless of religion with the added bonus of not being able to go to a bottleshop on a bloody Friday.

According to The Bible, Easter is the most important Christian religious holiday, which is probably why our Pentecostal Prime Minister can usually be spotted singing modern hymns with his eyes closed and a hand in the air, surrounded by thousands more doing the same.

“It’s just inevitable isn’t it,” stated Betoota resident Jordan Lou, who like most Christians, does her praying with their eyes and hands facing the ground.

“I don’t know why some journos think we need to see that? Does the guy really need an extra layer of hypocrisy?”

While most Australians are bracing for the weighty sense of malaise they will feel upon seeing our Prime Minister looking more passionate about God than he ever has for anyone else who didn’t vote for him, some are managing to find the positives.

“Maybe God will speak to him and tell him to stop cowering behind his wife and kids,” stated another local man. 

“It doesn’t feel likely though. If God wants to call out an institution for decades of covering up sexual assault, he’d probably need to look in his own house first.” 

At The Advocate we are not sure what comfort, if any, can be taken from the yearly reminder our Prime Minister enjoys Amway style church services where he can be photographed looking like he is holding up a winning raffle ticket while mid-sneeze.

Just be happy for the things that you have because in other countries people celebrating Easter get shot.


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