A man who spent his young adulthood handing out speeding fines and telling people to not swear around him – has not made a smooth transition into being a likeable Liberal Party politician, it has been confirmed.

It has been revealed today that the Federal Minister for Immigration and Member for Dickson in North Brisbane, Peter Dutton MP, who barely managed to secure his seat last election, is as unlikable as ever, following a catastrophic 18 months in the Turnbull cabinet.

Raised in Brisbane, Queensland, Dutton was educated at the Queensland Police Academy before becoming a Queensland Police officer for nine years, eventually working in the Drug Squad in suburbs such as Red Hill in the early 1990s.

With only one job to draw experiences from before entering politics, It is believed that Liberal party drifter pounced on the role of Immigration Minister, after boasting years of experience in locking up people of colour in the streets of Brisbane.

Recent numbers from Newspoll find that Peter Dutton would be even more likeable as a bloke if he was still a policeman.

“What we have found is that, after the incidents involving self-immolation in Dutton’s offshore detention centres last year, Peter Dutton would probably be more popular in his immediate community if he was still handing out speeding fines” said one statistician.




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