World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The world game has today spoken out about an reluctance to go back to the grey skies and non-stop sleet and rain that it once called home. As reported earlier today, England is looking to win its first World Cup since it defeated West Germany in 1966 for its only ever championship in the history of the tournament. Association...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A trending international news story has left the people of Planet Earth feeling unfamiliar emotions such as joy and relief today, after 12 Thai kids and their assistant soccer coach were found alive in a cave complex nine days after they went missing. "It's just such lovely news" said a Betoota local named Glenn, currently sitting at the front bar...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Betoota based anti-plastic campaigner and eco-warrior Mia Bowler (25) has today conceded that she probably won’t be drinking out of the tap on her next trip to South East Asia. The PR graduate and social media activist has confirmed that while she has done away with coffee cups and single-use straws, water straight from the...

The Russian national football team are celebrating a historic and monumental occasion today, after officially being told by the Russian government that they are allowed to keep their kneecaps for another 3 days. The good news comes on the back of Russia's record-breaking World Cup win over favourites Spain, which is being described by many as one of the best...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Canadian rap superstar Drake has broken historic streaming records with his new album "Scorpion" - with fans nearly clocking up 1000 years worth of listening time since it's release on Friday. Apple Music and Spotify both reporting unprecedented listenership in its first day, with Apple Music confirming that Drake's fifth studio album was streamed 170 million times in...

KENT REGINALD | The World | Contact First Lady of the United States and woman who no one knows for sure can read, Melania Trump, is being hailed as a hero of the left and a champion of free movement and open borders this week, after officially becoming the first immigrant to ever leave an ICE Detention Centre. Mrs. Trump, who was born in Slovenia,...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT Beyoncé Knowles and Shawn Carter (Jay Z) have this week released a joint album titled ‘The Carters’, and while such a monumental feat of music and artistry should push the album to number one on any chart, some questionable marketing decisions by the couple could be their undoing. The pair decided to release their album only on their music...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT US President and historical figure your grandchildren will get in trouble for impersonating at a fancy dress party, Donald Trump, has reportedly reached out to the Australian Prime Minister in a heartfelt plea to understand how the US can be better at ripping immigrant children from their families. The US Government, who is currently offering enforcing a refugee amnesty...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a year long study into his genetic make-up, scientists have today confirmed that 22-year-old cloud rapper Post Malone is 70% Labrador. The study was commissioned by the American Medical Association and was conducted by researchers from the University of Texas in Malone's home state. There have been rumours of Malone's dogginess for several months now, after he was seen drinking...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet| CONTACT The makers of the iconic and ever-popular children's television program Sesame Street have shocked parents and children today with a spooky new coastal Australian character called the ‘Grog Monster.’ Sesame Street is an American educational children's television series that combines live action, sketch comedy, animation and puppetry and has influenced children for a few generations. The new Grog...