Snail With Two Investment Shells Says Maybe Slugs Could Afford One If They Stopped Eating Out So Much
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIt appears that humans aren't the only creature that are currently dealing with a housing crisis, as slugs are reportedly 'fed up'...
Extremely Uncomfortable 3rd Trimester Made Better By Old Lady At Shops Who Says Cherish This Time
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local woman has today had to take an extra few deep breaths on her trip to the shops this morning.
With a...
Job Applicant Asked To Submit 10,000 Word Thesis On Why They Want To Work At Soulless Corporation
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
How does get fucked sound?
That's the question on the lips of local jobseeker Hamish Murray this week, after going through the grueling task...
Dutton Calls For A $450M Referendum Over Whether It’s Gay To Talk About Mental Health
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Prime Minister's decision to delay the election is starting to cause problems for the Federal Opposition, as Liberal Party leader Peter Dutton...
Man Who Grew Up On Star Wars, Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter Somehow A Trump Supporter
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who regularly rewatches his favourite childhood movies has proven to be an expert in cognitive dissonance, as he fails to...
“Wow This Is Literally The Best Bar I’ve Ever Seen I Will Put It In My Pub” Says Country Publican Seeing Corrugated Iron Bar
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A country publican has committed to installing a corrugated iron bar in his establishment, declaring it "simply unbeatable" after...
The Betoota Advocate Struggles To Stereotype Formula 1 Fans
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTThe Betoota Advocate is still trying to figure out how to stereotype F1 fans, as their demographic spans anywhere from sports-averse girls who...
PM: “That’s Uh, Quite Disrespectful But, Uh, Also Very Fucking Hard, So, Uh, Yeah, Play On I Guess”
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has weighed in on an incident that saw the stolen bronze head of King George...
Report: Looking At A Blokes Socks Found To Be Quickest Way To Tell If He’s Single
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Trying to quickly figure out if a bloke is single? Chances are, his socks hold the key.
1. Long socks
Chances of being taken:...
Queenslanders Receives Instructions For Next Stage Of Cyclone Recovery: “Go Stimulate The Economy”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the mud shovelled out and local businesses putting their shoulders to the wheel to earn a dollar, Queenslanders have today been briefed...
