“This Is Not Appropriate” Says Man Who Claims To Have Grown Up On The Smiths
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA totally in-touch with the youth British PM is appalled by some of the actions at this years Glastonbury music festival, despite boasting...
Why Defence Spending Is Categorised As Percentages Of GDP And Social Security Is Framed In Giant Scary Billion Dollar Numbers
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A groundbreaking report has been released by South Betoota Polytechnic's Media, Memes And Journalism Faculty today, detailing a trend of note.
The new...
Local Wingnut Considers Pre-Bullying His Son So He’s Desensitised To It By Kindy
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A father in Betoota Heights has sparked controversy this week after announcing he has begun lightly bullying his four-year-old...
Schools Around The Country Urged To Update Reading Curriculum For Tik Tok Generation
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTSchools across the country are being urged to modernise their reading curriculum in a bid to engage younger readers and address declining literacy...
Ley Admits Female Quotas Are Contentious As She Needs To Placate Liberal Faction That Feels Women Should Shut Up, Cook Dinner, And Raise Children
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opposition leader Sussan Ley has used a media appearance this morning to admit that the idea of having female...
Landlords Prepare For Week Of Heavy Storms By Blocking All Incoming Calls
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTLandlords and rental agents across the east coast have rushed to block their tenants from all forms of communication ahead of a wet...
‘Once In 100 Year’ Weather Events Reclassified As ‘Biannual Weather Patterns’
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The poor old North Coast of NSW is today battening down hatches and filling up sandbags again.
After a rough decade of extreme...
Sydney Braces For Their Quadrennial Schadenfreude Storm
ERROL PAKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Residents across Greater Sydney have begun preparing themselves for what meteorologists and tabloid journalists alike are calling a 'Schadenfreude...
Local Office Worker Receives Daily Steam Notification From Mate Who Works From Home
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA steam notification on her work laptop has confirmed a bloke's long held suspicion, that his mate who works from home fucks around...
Woman With Winter Blues Informed There’s A Psychiatrist Appointment Available In Three Months Time
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA woman struggling with a case of seasonal affective disorder - distastefully known as ‘SAD’ - has unfortunately been unable to receive much...
