PM Injects $30M Into CSIRO Cloning Department After Discovery Of Matthew Flinders’ Remains
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prime Minister Morrison has today found yet another colonial-era tribute to spend money on, after the body of English explorer Matthew Flinders was...
Bloke Who Watched The Gillette Ad Holds The Lift
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local commercial leasing agent has today been the best man he can be.
As of about a week ago, Dominic Corrie (34) has...
Influencer Couple Return Rescue Dog After Its Instagram Page Doesn’t Take Off
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Two weeks ago, a local Instagram influencer couple adopted an adorable second-hand dog.
The couple shared the adoption on their respective platforms, much...
Economy Passenger Desecrates Designated Business Toilet In One-Man Protest Against Segregation
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Warren Duncan channelled his inner Andrew Broad this afternoon as he snuck like a 00 Agent through the business-class...
Local Moron Eats The Biscuit Side Of The Maxibon First
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Sam
Masters has wowed a couple of friends today with his stupidity.
The
young accountant did so after an rather innocuous purchase a local convenience
store...
Hawaii To Spend Approximately Fifty Bucks Re-Enacting Captain Cook’s Visit
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The American Government has today announced plans to join Australia in efforts to improve public understanding of England's intense colonisation of the Pacific.
In...
Caging Galahs Only Inhumane If They Can’t Say Swear Words On Demand
BERNICE TWISP | Entertainment| Contact
A recent study commissioned by a local online activism group has concluded that keeping galahs in a cage is only...
High School Leaver To Celebrate Uni Acceptance By Sweeping Up Broken Glasses At Local Pub
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Despite
receiving some positive life changing news this afternoon, Ally Walsh has
confirmed that she is fully prepared to have the wind taken out of...
Pauline Hanson Briefly Confused And Angry About Australia Day Being Moved To The 28th
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the nation struggles to grapple with the complexity of a public holiday in-lieu, Pauline Hanson appears to have completely misunderstood what is...
Hot Mofo Festival To Set Hobart Alight Tomorrow
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Today and tomorrow, it's set to be an absolute scorcher in South Australia.
Boring!
But one summer festival in Tasmania kicks...
