Man Repeatedly Told To Put Toilet Seat Down Learns To Just Lean Forward And Piss Through It
INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact
A Betoota Heights man with a life that's largely void of zest has finally learned to just lean...
Friendship On Pause As Fistfight Erupts Between Mates Over Who Liked Mitch Marsh First
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Two mates fought it out this afternoon down at the Gelded Seahorse after one of them claimed to have...
Fishing Industry Facing Critical Shortage Of Rescue Flares After Rise In Polynesian Drill Rap
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australian Pasifika rap artists have officially overtaken Western Sydney Wanderers fans as the biggest consumers of rescue flares, according to a recent report...
ICC Continues Trend Of Hiring Blind Men To Umpire This Ashes Series
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The International Cricket Council (ICC) announced earlier today that they're continuing the trend of hiring blind men to umpire...
Militant Leftist Bushfires Continue Week-Long Protest Against Lack Of Action On Climate Change
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The leftie hack bushfires sweeping across parts of New South Wales and Queensland are still carrying on their propaganda campaign today it can...
Small Bar Owner Insists On Describing His Fully Licensed Venue As A ‘Speakeasy’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Owner of Betoota small bar ‘The Subterranean Moustachery’ Obbie Hanken (38) is determined to bring a certain level of class to this country...
Mother Censors Her Swear Words On Facebook So She Doesn’t Get Into Trouble
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Rue de Putain is notorious for it's morning traffic and according to one local mother, motorists need to keep...
Taylor Swift Cancels Melbourne Cup Performance After Reading Tweet From Fitzroy Arts Student
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Just hours after it was announced that Taylor Swift would rock the race that stops a nation, the pop star has taken to...
Australian Returns From Living In London Having Successfully Never Gone Wider Than Zone 2
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Two years ago, Frankie Dearden left our desert community in search of purpose.
Feeling directionless and afraid that time...
PM: “Oi Nah Trust Us Cobber Old Gladwrap Liu’s Not Half As Crook As Double Agent Dasher”
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has leapt to the defence of his embattled backbencher Gladys Liu this morning, telling reporters that...
