Level 3 Water Restrictions To Include “If it’s Yellow Let It Mellow” Rule
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
As residents around the come to terms with Level 2 Water Restrictions, authorities have warned that tougher restrictions are on the way.
Unless...
Firefighters To Be Supplied With Green and Red Water Dye To Improve Morale Over Christmas
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
As exhausted firefighters face the prospect of little to no family time over Christmas, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has come up with a...
Guest Who Brought Terrible Beer To Friend’s BBQ Seen Drinking Everything But It
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A
local sack of shit has just been caught out by his friends, after turning up to
a barbeque with a case of universally loathed...
Dad Automatically Suspicious After Daughter’s Boyfriend Turns Up With Pre-Mixed Drinks
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The
hair on the back of a local dad’s neck has been raised today, after his
daughter’s new boyfriend turned up with a case of...
Palaszczuk Introduces ‘The Purge’ In Latest Bid To Curb Alcohol-Related Violence In The Valley
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Palaszczuk has been left scratching her head after it was reported that alcohol-related violence still existed despite the introduction of lockout laws.
Forgetting...
Uncle Tony X Comes Forward As One Of Rob And Karen’s True Aboriginal Friends From Up North
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After nearly a week of radio silence, The Betoota Advocate can now report that a prominent Indigenous figure from 'up North' has...
Local Budget Conscious Woman Uses Cash Instead Of Card As It ‘Doesn’t Count’
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Financially challenged local woman, Anna Gibbs, has realised it’s time to curb her over spending and finally do something about her looming credit...
Report: This Shit Smells Pretty good
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A recent report carried out by Australia’s leading scent analysers has found that Jasmine is probably the best smelling flower in Australia. ...
Life Guard At Southbank Beach Trips Running Toddler Just To Create Excitement For Self
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
An over qualified and bored shitless lifeguard at Brisbane’s main tourist attraction has taken matters into her own hands today after yet another...
NSW Police Allow OneFour To Perform Live After Breathtaking Cover Of Photograph By Nickelback
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A Director of Public Prosecutions has criticised New South Wales police, claiming they're distorting counterterrorism laws in an attempt to crackdown on...
