It’s Only 85 Sleeps Until The First Ball Of The Ashes. That Means England’s Openers Only Have To Endure 85 More Nightmares Of Starc Bowling Them First Ball Of...
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Kent cricketer Zak Crawley is the leading candidate to open the batting for England in the first Test of...
Local Comms Grad Forced To Choose Between Soul Crushing Corporate Job Or Low Paying Agency With Ping Pong Table
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A recent communications graduate has been left paralysed by indecision this week after weighing up whether to take a soul crushing corporate job...
Experts Warn Korean Cultural Imperialism Has Quietly Done What Generations Of Aircraft Carriers And Nuclear Missiles Could Not By Colonising The Minds Of Spoilt Western Teenagers Who Can Now...
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
While defence analysts in Washington and Canberra continue to fret over China's expansion into the South China Sea and...
Local Builder Excited To Find Going Out Version Of His Work Boots
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A member of the Betoota Heights tradespeople community has expressed joy this week after finding a smarter, more fashion...
Woolworths Unveils New End Of Day Slop Bucket For The Peasants
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some heartwarming news, Woolworths have this week committed to a new low waste policy which will ensure all the vegetables and baked...
Report: Snotty Toddler Nose And Chernobyl’s ‘Elephant Foot’ Are Essentially One And The Same
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A new report from the CSIRO has found that the mucus streaming from the nose of an Australian toddler...
Goddamit: Local Woman Has Enough Snot To Keep Sniffing But Not Enough To Blow In Tissue
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn anxious woman has found herself in a bit of a predicament this morning, as the remnants of her cold have her producing...
Taylor Swift’s Wedding Pinterest Board Revealed
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn inside tip off to The Advocate has revealed Taylor Swift's wedding inspiration board has been hidden in plain sight all along, as...
In An Effort To Please Everyone, AFL Cancels Snoop Dogg And Hires Josh Kennedy To Sing Paul Kelly’s “Leaps and Bounds” With Lin Jong Providing Hand Claps
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The AFL has cancelled Snoop Dogg's appearance at the Grand Final and replaced him with former West Coast forward...
Taylor Swift’s Next Album To Be As Boring As Most Engaged Friends Are
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In exciting but daunting news for the Swifties, The Betoota Advocate can reveal that pop music superstar Taylor Swift and her NFL player...
