V6 Magnatude Aftershocks Registered In Melbourne After Brayden From Frankston Lets Canon Purr
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Melbourne residents have today been reminded of yesterdays traumatising events, with some early morning earthquake aftershocks.
At roughly 5.55am this morning the city...
Local Dad Warns The Family That This House Might Be Shaking A Bit Later As Well Ha Ha
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A semi-retired accountant from Betoota's Flight Path District has today fulfilled his duty by making a disgusting reference to the healthy intimacy...
“Yeah I Felt It Too” Says Drama Queen In Adelaide Hills
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A resident of the cosmopolitan Adelaide Hills region has confirmed just how big the Melbourne earthquake was today.
Speaking to The Advocate via...
Melbourne Vinnies Report Abundance Of Hi-Vis Donations As Conspiracists Stop Playing Dress Ups
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Second-hand clothing outlets across Melbourne say they are being inundated with brand new high visibility workwear, as the conspiracists who spent the...
Earthquake Damage Sees Dan Andrews Begin Gruelling Task Of Mending Relationship With Tradies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has today had to swallow his pride and begin negotiations with the construction industry, after a numbers buildings...
Melbourne Literally Shook Rn
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
For the first time ever, Melbourne's residents actually mean it when they say "I am literally shook rn"
This comes as three earthquakes...
Dan Andrews Announces Disaster Bonus Bets In Effort To Calm Down Melbourne Tradies
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An uneasy and confused marriage of distressed construction workers and anti-vaxxer protestors are marching through Melbourne again this afternoon, as the city...
Dreadlocked White Boy Playing Bongo Drums Outside Melbourne CFMEU Office Insists He’s A Tradie
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A dreadlocked Xavier Rudd-looking hippy currently banging out reggae ballads outside the CFMEU head office in Melbourne has told reporters that he's...
Exhausted ICU Nurse Immediately Joins The CFMEU After Seeing Them Punch On With Anti-Vaxxers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
LIFELONG LOYALTY: Victoria has today recorded another 567 new community cases in greater Melbourne, bumping the number of active cases in the...
Crumbed Steak On Pub Menu Identified As Key Difference Between ‘The Bush’ And ‘The Outback’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The National Farmers Federation has this week released the findings of a recent report into where the Outback officially starts.
NFF President Fiona...
