Naarm Settler One Step Closer To No Longer Being A Rich White Girl After Autism Self-Diagnosis
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the trauma of the Melbourne lockdown in the rear view, one politically vocal Naarm settler has today unveiled a new point of...
ABC Rushes To Interview First Farmer Who Wants Climate Action And Doesn’t Look Like Xavier Rudd
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The ABC has today pulled off the unthinkable.
They have found a bloke that looks and talks like a farmer, who operates a...
Elderly Exam Supervisor Prepared To Take A Student’s Life If They Don’t Put Pen Down Right Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local retiree has enjoyed getting the blood pumping in her veins at the Betoota Heights High Literature exam this morning.
After a...
Federal Election Officially Underway As Labor Announce Big Plans For High-Speed Rail Plan Again
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
While the deadline for announcing a pre-Christmas December election has come and gone, that doesn't mean that the official campaign is not already...
Scotty Gets On Diplomatic Front Foot And Books Waterboy Duties For Next Wallabies v France Test
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Internationally recognised shady bloke and Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison is on the offensive this morning, launching a new sports-centric media...
Lismore Residents Celebrate Record-Breaking 12 Days Without Some Sort Of Major Flooding Event
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The people of the lower Northern Rivers hinterland are today cheering, after their town reached a milestone that many thought was impossible.
Lismore, New...
Kebab Shop Guy Could Fuck You Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report by the nation's drunk idiots has found that the men employed in Australia's late night Turkish and Lebanese take-away industry...
Local Woman Channels Her Inner Barefoot Investor By Refusing To Look At Bank Account Until She Gets Paid
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A local woman has today informed our reporter of some very helpful money-saving tips that won’t require a change in lifestyle.
Kim Walker ...
Absolute Pest Buys A Harmonica
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In bad news for everyone with ears, local pest Chris Tripp has taken his dickory to new levels today by purchasing a new...
“Guess Who [Out Of The 7.9 Billion People On Planet Earth] I Ran Into Today?!” Asks Girlfriend
A local woman has just asked her boyfriend a question with literally an infinite amount of answers and appears to be insisting on him...
