Well-Off But Ultimately Useless Young Man Confirms The Only Sport He’s Watching This Weekend Is The Ryder Cup
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Despite an avalanche of high-stakes football on offer across the nation this weekend, including the AFL Grand Final, the...
Snoop Dogg Completes Melbourne Ritual By Queuing For 2 Hours To Get A Lune Croissant
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Cali icon Snoop Dogg has today given humble foodies a Friday morning treat.
Calvin Cordozar Broadus Jr has caused a bit of a scene...
Melbourne Pubs Forced To Serve Beer In Strange And Unfamiliar Vessels As Queenslanders Roll Into Town
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACTTens of thousands of Aussie Rules fans are descending on Melbourne today, as the nation prepares for yet another out-of-towner Grand Final.
Pilgrimages are...
‘The Last Pan You’ll Ever Need’ Obviously Didn’t Account For Woman’s Tendency To Burn The Shit Out Of Everything
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
The latest advertising campaign from HexClad has come out strong with a claim that has left one amateur cook doubting its credibility.
The HexClad...
Old Cocky’s Technological Illiteracy The Only Thing Stopping Him From Becoming Totally Radicalised On Facebook
TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
You’ve heard of being your own worst enemy, but one local cocky has turned out to be his own best friend this afternoon,...
Nation’s Hot Chicks Graduate From Fruity Vapes To Korean Ciggies
PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT
A momentous shift is being felt across capital cities as the Nation's hottest girlies collectively shift from strawberry- watermelon flavored vapes to Esse...
Local Woman Checking Bank Account Post Hens Weekend Closest She’ll Ever Get To Exposure Therapy
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
I’VE BEEN HACKED: A local woman earlier this week endured the psychological equivalent of exposure therapy after checking her bank account in...
Boss Has A Sneaking Suspicion Staff Might Be Using ChatGPT After Receiving 5-Page Email Requesting A Day Off
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACTArtificial intelligence is reportedly being used to outsource fundamental human interactions in a South Betoota office, it can be confirmed.
Local sales director, Gerri...
Rest Of Nation Really Happy For Their Mates In Victoria Enjoying Grand Final Long Weekend
JASON BARRY | Victorian Leg Tennis | Contact
Australians nationwide have united in a stirring display of social cohesion as Victorians enjoy a Friday public holiday for the AFL...
Albo Debuts Stunning New Americanized Rig After 48 Hours In The States
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Prime Minister of Australia has today revealed to The Betoota Advocate the toil this recent American trip has taken on him.
Set...
