Local Woman Rescinds Dry Lips Complaint After Mate Generously Offers Manky Tube Of Papaw Ointment
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman suffering a case of wind burn has had to downplay her suffering this morning, after her friend thoughtfully offered up a...
Newy Bloke Ostracised By Childhood Mates After Returning From Sydney With Birks And Chinos Combo
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local Newy boy Tighe Carrington (34) never thought a three-year-contract at a Sydney medical supplies company would cause him so much personal anguish...
“Yeah Splendour Was Awesome” Says Colleague Returning To Work With A Thousand-Yard Stare
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The clinking of stainless-steel on porcelain was all that kept Julie Proctor company in the office kitchenette this morning...
The Betoota Advocate’s Top 6 Reasons Why The Indigenous Voice Is A Bad Idea
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In case you haven't been across the news lately, Australia's media pundits and political commentators are mortified by the Albanese Government's decision to...
Boyfriend Who Got Dragged Along To Splendour Flat Out Having The Time Of His Life In Campsite
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A young man is having the time of his life, it can be confirmed today.
After somewhat begrudgingly agreeing to join his girlfriend...
“It’s Perfect For Hiking,” Says Woman Who’s Never Worn Puffer Jacket Outside The Inner City
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A Brunswick woman is today lapping up the Antarctic temperatures sweeping across Melbourne.
With Australia's most European city currently being battered by some mild...
Groom-To-Be Spends Whole Session With Wedding Planner Pretending To Care About Things
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
"Should we have drinks on the lawn first for a bit and then bring the hors-d'oeuvres out? Or just bring...
Grown Man Justifies His Financially-Reckless Purchase By Calling It A ‘Toy’
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
On top of Simon Pooley's wardrobe, half full of $300 polyester suits and almost all of Uniqlo's winter range, sits a drone.
The mildly-unpopular...
Local Fuckboy Nails Winter Trend by Borrowing Dad’s Lambswool Quarter Zip
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local fuckboy is staying cosy in a beer garden this evening after helping himself to a soft woollen pullover from...
Bullock Delivers Cruel Double Rate Rise At First Ever RBA Meeting: “There’s A New Sheriff In Town!”
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
The new Governor of the Reserve Bank of Australia has announced herself in style this morning.
Attending her first meeting since being given...
