Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a sure sign that the British Empire is in the midst of a rapid decline, the Coronation Of King Charles appears to have been a 3rd page news story in Australia. In fact, it would seem that every media organisation in Australia has given this one a wide berth - except for our public broadcaster of course,...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Less than half way through the 2023 NRL Premiership season, it looks like the race is pretty much over. After talking an early lead last week, the Wests Tigers have kicked on with a statement 18-16 win over Premiership heavyweights the St George-Illawarra Dragons. In the game of the round, the Wests Tigers looked unable to make a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Brisbane is currently battening down the hatches, as every single NRL players in the country descends on the Brown Snake for one of the wildest football exhibitions in the country. As has been tradition for several years now, the NRL's Round 10 will see Suncorp Stadium play host to all eight matches in Magic Round. At the halfway mark...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In big news for the predominantly monocultural game of Aussie Rules, it appears that the Apple Isle of Tasmania will be granted the 19th AFL team licence after being unanimously endorsed by the existing 18 clubs. Yesterday, The presidents reportedly took less than 20 minutes on Tuesday to reach complete agreement over the decision to add a Tasmanian...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Less than a week after the Federal Government announced that they were going to do all the hard work, the AFL club presidents have voted unanimously to grant Tasmania the game's 19th licence, fulfilling decades of dreams for a team from the island state. It is not yet clear if this decision is directly related to the announcement...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT It's over. Put a fork in the 2023 NRL Premiership because it's done. The Wests Tigers are going to win the Grand Final in the first weekend in October, and end their 18 year premiership drought. This comes after the club beat the two time defending premiers the Penrith Panthers in Bathurst over the weekend. Faced with appalling...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Betoota Dolphins 4th grader has given his immune system a boost today by bravely sucking on the festering nozzle of a team water bottle. Up 16-10 at halftime to the Quilpie Magpies, spectators at Wally Lewis Memorial Oval said local prop Aiden ‘Boof’ Tookey participated in full mouth-on-mouth contact on a bottle being handed around...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Canberra Raider's star Jack Wighton's bombshell decision to leave the nation's capital for the South Sydney Rabbitohs next year has sparked anger from his current club's salwarts. Wighton has made the decision to move his family to the Big Smoke for a four year deal, turning down lucrative offers from the Raiders and other clubs and taking close...

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact An undisclosed AFL team is out searching for a new head legal counsel after the previous hire into the position quit within seconds of reading the shared group chat.  Clarke Croyden, a 39 year old Lawyer and family man stepped down from his new found job after what he described as "some very concerning shit." His comments come...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the Thai city of Chiang Mai today, it has been confirmed that a local tourist attraction has more life in it than an entire NRL club. A local veterinary expert has confirmed to The Advocate that a tiger drugged within an inch of its life has more bite in it that 17 professional...