Sports

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the Hollywood Actors and Writers strikes continue to grow momentum with no end in sight, it appears that God's winter code may be facing the same fate here in Australia. In that, the superstar talent that makes up the National Rugby League are united in their unprecedented industrial demands. With no movies or TV series being greenlit for production...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT English loudmouth Piers Morgan is today coming to terms with that fact his country sucks.  The media personality who makes a living out of saying silly things has thoroughly entertained over the last few weeks by dipping his toe into the world of cricket.  Initially throwing a tantrum about Johnny Bairstow being legally dismissed, Piers has since carried on about...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Spirit of Cricket is rolling in its grave this morning, after having the Australian team spit in its face. Famous for it's desire to see the English cricket team win matches playing the greatest style of cricket ever seen by humankind (aka scoring at one more run an over and making wildly foolish declarations and lack thereof),...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT "He's just embarrassed us, mate" says local ex-government vehicle sales rep, Donnie Caster (53) "Again" As a man that will never forgive his Premier for forcing him to spend his 50th birthday locked down as a result of some of the strictest public health measures in the world - Donnie finds it hard to talk about anything else except his...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Australian Cricket team are today celebrating another victory in the Ashes. After a see saw Day 4 in the 3rd Test, the Aussies have decided to just feel like they won the match. The relatively low scoring affair did technically see the English win by 3 wickets on paper, however that hasn't gotten in the way of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local rugby league fan has today revealed to The Advocate that he's had 'a bloody nough.' The sparky on a unionised major construction site in town, told us that he can't believe these entitled NRL players. Derrick Derrickson (34) said it's time for these sooky NRL players to get a bit of a reality check. "Fuck me, these...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT After a sensational day of cricket in Leeds, the English cricket team have been reminded about one of the oldest phrases in the sport. Catches win matches. The timeless saying was particularly apt yesterday, with England fielding like a bunch of teenagers who've been scraping their fingers in the vasoline. Big buttery wicket keeper Johnny Bairstow was particularly...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The English Cricket team and cricketing establishment have re-claimed the Ashes, it can be confirmed today. Despite a ball not having been bowled in the 3rd Test at Headingley, the English are ready to celebrate bringing the coveted urn back home. The historic victory in the 3rd Test follows two resounding moral victories at Lords and Edgbaston, with...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A local Englishman has today been informed that enough is enough. The yellow toothed stinky unwashed ex pat from the the United Sookdom was told a short time ago that he needs to stop trying to psychologically manipulate his mates. The man in question Alisdair Whitely-Whittingon-Winston-Smith was told that he should stop trying to 'Bazlight' his friends. Emerging...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After an exciting 48 hours in the world of cricket, the English cricketing team have confirmed they want to keep the good times rolling. This comes after the players, coaching staff and greater cricketing establishment revealed they want to keep sooking for the foreseeable future. The sooking comes as a result of the Johnny Bairstow dismissal, which the...