Girlfriend Books 10 Seater Table At Boutique Gastropub With No Screens For Wednesday Night
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It's predicted that more Australians will be watching the Matildas than any other sporting match in our nation's history this Wednesday night, as our golden girls take on England in the World Cup semi-final.
This comes after their breathtaking penalty shoot out against France in Brisbane's Lang Park Stadium on Saturday - a historic moment that broke Australian TV...
White Collar Novocastrian Starts Turning Up To Sydney Office With The Henny Penny Under Suit Jacket
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A proud Novocastrian has been spotted in the Sydney CBD this morning as he enjoys another week entrenched in the top 8 of the NRL.
Strutting down Pitt Street with The Screaming Jets blasting into his wireless earbuds, former Raymond Terrace man Phoenix Saifiti (32), was seen wearing his favourite Henny Penny jersey underneath his Tarocash suit...
Matildas v France The Biggest TV Audience Since That Episode Of Neighbours Where Toadie Drove Dee Off The Cliff Immediately After Marrying Her
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the dust settles on a historic weekend for the nation, the true extent of the Matildas win over France is being realised.
With millions tuning in around the nation, the quarter final against France was officially confirmed as the most watched sporting event since Cathy Freeman won gold at the Sydney Olympics.
On top of that incredible...
Genius Diplomat Scott Morrison’s 2 Year Submarine Mind Games Finally Pay Off
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The history books are currently being altered this weekend, after a momentous 130ish minutes in Brisbane last night.
With the nation tuning into the second most viewed sporting event in the last few decades, confirmation has come through that Scott Morrison was a genius all along.
A couple of years after upsetting the French by refusing to give...
Reformed Jock Ally Considers Wearing A Women’s Suffrage Ribbon To the Pub To Watch The Matildas
MARIO STRADLATER | Softboi | ContactBen Strudwick (29), current second row prop forward for the Ramsgate Football Club, has thrown up the possibility of altering his usual pub attire this Saturday Night while watching Australia’s Favourite Sporting Team, the Tillies, in action.
Strudwick, also known as ‘Pig’ for an incident occurring on a football trip to Airlie Beach five years ago, to which he...
Single Bloke Without A Mortgage Throws Up Bali As Possible Mad Monday Option Into Ressies Group Chat
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A bloke with too much disposable income has hit a group chat this evening in the hope of building some momentum towards a trip to Bali.
Kobe Butcher (32) is one of the few over-thirties still booting up for the Betoota Dolphins 4th grade side, a club legend who plays twice a month and trains maybe once.
Cashed...
Aussie Soccer Fans Attempt To Emulate European Singing Culture By Belting Out The Avalanches Hit ‘Frontier Psychiatrist’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As ticket sales and TV ratings throughout the FIFA Women's World Cup surpass even the most ambitious estimates, it seems the Aussies are real soccer fans after all.
Earlier this week, the Australian and New Zealand tournament hosts crossed over 1.7 million ticket sales. FIFA’s original ticket sales target for the tournament was 1.3 million, and this was later...
Dana White Says Preferred Venues To Host UFC 293 Came Down To Qudos Arena Or Mean Fiddler Car Park
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After months of waiting for Australian MMA fans, UFC President Dana White has today announced a trio of headline fights that will be taking place next month at UFC 293 in Sydney.
And much like the people of Sydney, the line up of fighters features an eclectic mix of weirdos from a vast number of different nations.
In the main...
Diamonds Win Netball World Cup And Still Make Less Headlines Than When They Offended Dear Gina
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In case you'd forgotten the hysterical protection racket that surrounded Scott Morrison at the last federal election, the Australian media appears to remain firmly in the pocket of our nation's tax-dodging multinational fossil fuel cartels and their bought politicians.
This has become clearer than ever this week, as the Australian Netball side won a world cup - and still...
Denmark Happiness Index Plummets to 99.2% Following Round Of 16 Defeat To The Renters
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Danes woke up in their socialist utopia to defeat following their team’s 2-0 loss to the Matildas on Monday night.
“I’m at a complete loss for what to do,” said local shoemaker Christian Jorgenssen. “I guess I’ll just ride my bike to work, eat some herring and enjoy the benefits of living in one of the most developed and...
