Report: Girl Math Nowhere Near As Reckless As Boy Math
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTBOY MATH: After months of exhaustive research, evidence recovered by Betoota is shedding a light on the stark contrast between "Girl Math"...
Local Woman With Flat Phone On The Train Begins Reminiscing About That Free Stalker Newspaper
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA rapidly ageing millennial has found herself reminiscing about her university days this morning, after finding herself twiddling her thumbs on the train.
It’s...
Bloke Who Ran Out Of Shot Glasses For The Boys Reckons Random Plastic Thing In Dishwasher Will Do
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights bloke not educated on the modern forms of period care has unknowingly given one of his mates a rather intimate...
Local Woman Hoping 14th Saved Overnight Oats TikTok Recipe Is The One
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has refused to admit she’lll never be the early rising, health conscious gym junkie she’s always yearned to be, by...
Bloke Hogging Council EV Charger Comforted By Fact That Fellow EV Drivers Not Capable Of Confrontation
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A blatant example of roadside selfishness has gone unpunished today, as a Betoota Grove-based EV driver takes advantage of the brief window in...
Mate Who Works From Home Reckons He’s Got An Early Start Tomorrow
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe absolute nerve of this cunt has been observed in the quiet suburbs of Betoota as from-home worker Oliver Corton (34) reckons he’s...
Cost-Of-Living Crisis: Cocaine Now So Expensive That Influencers Are Resorting To Paying For It
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTYoung people are feeling another economic blow as cocaine is now so expensive that local and domestic influencers have had to resort to...
Local Bloke Realises He Must Be Getting Old After Favourite Musician Gets Booked At The RSL
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Ponds bloke has had a rather cruel taste of mortality this week, having experienced the excitement and crippling disappointment of finding...
Group Chat Successfully Organises A Night On The Piss
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA new saint may soon be canonised after a certified miracle happened in our lucky little outback oasis this week.
For the first time...
Tea Industry Celebrates As Another Grog Monster Declares Sobriety
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTT2 might just turn themselves up to T3 as the entire Australian tea industry celebrates as another grog monster publicly declares their sobriety.
A...
