Toey Mums Boycott Hollywood Awards Season After Learning Pedro Pascal Is Not Attending Oscars
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACTWHAT’S THE POINT? It has been rumoured that 2024 awards season hunk Pedro Pascal will not be attending the Oscars this weekend.
It’s undeniable...
Sydney Swans Supporter Refuses To Enter Pub That Doesn’t Have Polished Floorboards, Or At Least Jade Tiles
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA Sydney Swans supporter made headlines today after refusing to grace a local pub with their presence unless it boasted polished floorboards or,...
Local Girl’s Prayers For Tasty Tax Return Now Invalid After Best Friend Announces A Fucking Destination Wedding
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | ContactDespite working full time at a pet groomer, running a side hustle knitting dog beanies on Etsy and picking up the odd...
Adventurous Boyfriend Orders A BLT, Hold The T
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACTALL GROWN UP: A 28 year old local man has wowed onlookers today at the Grind Up Cafe in Betoota’s French Quarter by...
Man At Age Sweet Spot Where Pimple Appears On Receding Hairline
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota man has experienced the most disappointing (and hopefully fleeting) of rare age sweet spots by waking up to a fresh pimple...
Bloke From Online Dating Era Gets The Unfollow After Posting A Tatey Opinion About International Women’s Day
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact
A local porkchop has lost a few Instagram followers today after having a very public squeal about International Women’s...
Group Chat Overcome With Deathly Silence After Mate Suggests Actually Doing Something In Real Life
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA group chat with a seemingly endless stream of memes, inside jokes, gossip and local news has abruptly plunged into a deathly hush....
Fur Mumma Welcomes Baby Equality As Virgin Plans To Allow Fur Babies In The Cabin
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local pet owner has rejoiced somewhat this afternoon after alternate air carrier Virgin announced they are seeking approval...
Local Stupid White Bastard Says Comments Like Sam Kerr’s Are The Reason He’s Been Oppressed His Entire Life
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactJohn Houston, 56, a resident of Betoota Heights, expressed on his Facebook page today that individuals such as 'Sam Kerr' are contributing to...
Grown Woman Still Has To Consult Knuckles To Confirm Number Of Days In Month
LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact
As March rolls around to say ‘fuck you, there will be Easter shit in shops soon’ local Betootan Elaine...
