Local Yuppie Runs Hand Through Hair As A Cool Save After Hailing A Bus That Doesn’t Stop
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTIn one of the all time great saves, local yuppie Max White (28) sent shockwaves through the city streets today after executing a...
All-Night Bender Brought To A Sudden End By The Haunting Cries Of The Cruel Masked Lapwing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactPartygoers at a raging all-nighter have this weekend been hit with the woeful cry of the infamous ‘bender bird’, which has quickly killed...
Cyclist Riding On The Footpath Dinging His Bell So People Move Needs To Stop Being Such A Coward And Ride On The Road
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Each morning around 8, a cyclist rides down the foothpath of Rue de Branlette and dings his bell at...
Villainous High School Pick-Me Girl Makes Seamless Transition Into Millennial Boy Mum
ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | CONTACT
TALE AS OLD AS TIME: In an event that has shocked absolutely no one, least of all the Betoota Heights High graduating class...
Local Smash Repairer Hopes ATO Doesn’t Look Too Closely At His Recent ‘Work Trip’ To Las Vegas
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights smash repairer is running a bit slow this morning after arriving into town late last night...
Woman Genuinely Stuck In Washing Machine Unsure How To Ask Step Brother For Help
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Heights woman has delicately tried to navigate what could have been a disastrous situation this weekend, after attempts to reach for...
Local Girl’s Outfit Is From One Of Those Borderline Sweatshop Websites But She Didn’t Know Until After!!!
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman has this weekend sheepishly confirmed that her outfit is from one of those aggressively bad sweatshop companies, after a very drunk...
“It’s Official” Declares Newlywed As She Changes The Last Name Of Her Instagram Handle
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTIT’S OFFICIAL: In a groundbreaking announcement, newlywed Adelaide Dwite née Tait declared, "It's official!" as she rushed to change the last name...
Local Girl Regrets Mentioning She Enjoyed The Beckham Doco After Date Ends Up In Bar With TVs Everywhere
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTI LOVE FOOTBALL: In a stunning turn of events, local woman Molly Ward is reportedly regretting her decision to casually mention her...
Bloke Trapped On Wrong Side Of Mardi Gras Parade Must Now Venture On A Hero’s Journey By Foot
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA helpless bloke found himself trapped on the wrong side of the Mardi Gras parade , facing the daunting task of embarking on...
