“So… Net This Weekend?” Asks Fourth Grade Cricket Captain Seeing Fellow Pubgoers In Shorts This Afternoon
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the weather begins to warm up and blokes start showing up at the pub in shorts, a familiar...
Dad Too Stubborn To Call A Plumber To Make Problem Ten Times Worse With Botched DIY Attempt
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACTIn an astounding showcase of stubbornness, local Betoota Heights dad Gary Palmer managed to turn a minor plumbing fault into a full-blown disaster...
Mate Who Nipped Finger Off Using A Mandoline Still Convinced It’s More Convenient Than A Knife
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Editor | CONTACTIn an unsurprising twist for anyone who knows him, local Betoota Heights resident Kyle Watson remains steadfast in his belief that his mandoline...
Local Woman Asks Boyfriend If His Pixelated Soccer Players Are Making Him Sad Again
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman coming home to a very sullen boyfriend has come to the conclusion that his pixelated soccer players have made him angry...
Man Enjoys His First Pre-Function Beer In Hotel Room As The Go-To Mask Goes On
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
With the clock ticking towards 3, local man Darren Jenkins has officially kicked off his wedding day ritual by...
Local Bachelor Treats Favourite Winter Tracky Dacks To First Wash Since Easter
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTA Betoota man who doesn’t own a bed base is patting himself on the back this morning, after finally putting his...
Aspiring Brat Girl Struggles To Grasp What It Really Means To Live This Life
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT365 PARTY GIRL: In a tragic display of misplaced ambition, local Instagram baddie, Tiffany Bloomfield (22), has found herself grappling with the...
Bloke At Event With An Open Buffet Unable To Stop Gorging Himself Like An Unsupervised Labrador
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has reached a new level of piggery at a networking lunch today, that has not gone unnoticed by his peers,...
Local Fitness Bro Asks Wife If They Can Park Argument As He Hasn’t Reached His Daily Strava Target Yet
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn a tragic display of a fitness addiction gone awry, Betoota Heights mortgage broker Tom Mathieson, 32, has gotten himself into the bad...
“Must Be the Moon,” Claims Local Woman As Life Crumbles Around Her
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
I BLAME THE MOON: Lucy Harris (31) is convinced that the moon is the culprit behind her life’s recent spiral into chaos....
