Report: Your Townie Cousins Won’t Tell You They Got A Large Tax Return, But There Will Be Signs
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Betoota’s resident anthropological expert has today released a groundbreaking report revealing a new phenomena that might be gracing your social media feed.
No, we...
65 Year Old Divorcee Claims To Love The Food In Thailand
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Recently divorced 65 year old Grant Fowler has once again reaffirmed his admiration for the culture, food, and traditions in the land of...
Property Investors Generously Rent To International Students While House Goes Through Renovations
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA group of property investors have defended their decision to rent out a home going through extensive renovations, by insisting that forking out...
TAB Loses $1.4bn Somehow
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Australia’s leading wagering company, TAB, has somehow announced a loss of $1.4 billion for the 2024 financial year. The...
Local Tattoo Artist Forced To Whip Out The Orbital Sander After Client’s Card Declines
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactClients at a popular Betoota ponds tattoo parlour were given the shock of their life yesterday, as reports suggest a man was treated...
Former Wall of Death Organiser Can’t Wait To Let That Freak Off The Leash Again
KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACTThe suburban streets of Betoota are being treated to a symphony of nu-metal classics today as a local whitegoods installer goes...
“I Only Vape When I’m Drinking” Says Woman Who Finds Self Pouring A Wine Every Arvo So She Can Vape
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn an astounding display of mental gymnastics, Betoota Heights woman Anita Gunn, 25 has denied all accusations that she has a vape addiction,...
“See You Next Year, Friend” Man Says To Guinness Tap As Winter Finally Ends
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
With the first scorching days of spring here, French Quarter pub enjoyer Mark Thompson bid farewell to the Guinness...
Boomer Who Never Worked Longer Than 9-5 For 40 Years Says Right To Disconnect Is Typical Of Lazy Youth
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAn elderly Betoota Heights gentleman has taken to Facebook today to share his thoughts on the right-to-disconnect laws, claiming they are just another...
Local Bloke Wishes Cat Could Ask For Attention Without Shoving His Leather Cheerio In His Face
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has yet again found himself begging his cat to please, please stop shoving his arse in his face, after yet...
