Local News

Boomer That Hated The Backstreet Boys Is Pretty Keen On The 70s Version Of Them

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local father has today unknowingly confirmed that The Eagles were the 1970s equivalent of a boy band, after...

Forever Renter Stares Into Abyss After Party That Won’t Do Anything Wins Against Party That Would Have Made Things Worse

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA woman who long ago accepted that she’ll be renting until the day she dies has this weekend let out a half hearted...

Former High School Rugby Prodigy Calls His Old Islander Coach To Suss Betting Tips On Next Pope

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAs all eyes across the Catholic world stay fixated on the chimney of the Sistine Chapel, one local Betoota man is...

SBS Camera Crews Ask Extremely Fresh Migrant For Their Analysis On Election

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT SBS camera crews have sprung into action during election day, getting their much needed vox pop of a new migrant's opinion on the...

This Is Democracy Manifest Yells Voter Eating 3rd Democracy Sausage

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACTA local comedian has today reduced an entire polling booth worth of volunteers to tears, after providing some much needed laughing levity. Will White...

Everyone Now Aware That Local Woman Does Poos After Publicly Stocking Up On Toilet Paper

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWOW THIS WOMAN SHITS! In some banal news to break up the political content, it can now be confirmed that every person...

Nation Increasingly Jealous Of 11-Hour Blackout In Spain And Portugal

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the federal election campaign enters its final stretch, residents of our cosmopolitan desert community say they are deeply...

Marvel Boyfriend Convinces Woman To Come To Movies Simply By Name Dropping Florence Pugh

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bloke has successfully gotten his indie movie loving girlfriend to watch an action movie this week by casually dropping that...

Australian Neo-Nazi Smashes His Laptop After Receiving A Polite “Welcome” On Home Screen

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA Sky News viewer has left a giant hole in his computer screen because he doesn't like being welcomed to his own computer. 59...

Local Voter Gives ‘H Fong’ A Taste Of Own Medicine By Giving His Number To Anonymous STI Service

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who can’t seem to opt out of receiving text messages from ‘H Fong’ has decided to return fire this afternoon,...

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