Local News

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA once precious bit of gossip has withered and died this week as a previously interesting office romance has ended with a boring old happy marriage. The duo in the centre of the once hot affair are Carrol and Wayne Bradcock, who finally tied the knot and thus ended the year’s long ‘will they, won’t they’ that was the...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe Golden Age of a channel country town has been confirmed as gone forever today as a local yuppy has turned a town shop front into their house.Two hours south east from Betoota as the crow flies, Mount Quilby has not had the easiest of trots ever since the last fleck of gold was panned.Although the steel mill...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTThe Guinness Book of Records is scrambling to update their 2024 edition today after a long - standing record was shattered over the weekend. With over 80,000 fans filling out Accor Stadium on Saturday, it’s believed the crowd of cargo short wearing Dads broke the record for the most number of pockets in one place. Local media is...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTCash registers at Bunnings stores have been pinging off the charts this morning as Australian Dads prepare for their Taylor Swift moment. In scenes reminiscent of when Bunnings first started to sell pet supplies, it’s reported long queues had already formed by sunrise as Foo Fighter fans planned for an excruciatingly long day in the sun. With a...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA swimming coach from Betoota Lakes has debuted a new hat this afternoon, as he makes one last ditch effort to stay stylish before the inevitable descent into wearing Gazman clothing.Joining a table of old school mates at the Betoota Bowling Club, patrons say Gareth Huntington (38) was spotted sporting a brand new Goorin Bros Trucker...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman who’s notoriously picky when it comes to choosing movies and TV shows has this week actually given the thumbs up to something in under ten minutes, which may just be a world record. It’s alleged the woman in question, Olivia Desmond, 27, had prepared herself for at least thirty minutes of flipping between streaming platforms as...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA rare surviving soldier in the battle against nicotine has offered a message of hope to young vape conscripts by simply existing.The baccy stained soldier is Desmond Toulie (73) of Betoota Ponds who over an evening at the Betoota Ponds Returned Soldiers and Conscription Club couldn’t help but get talking to the young people who had turned his...

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTAs Australia’s only finance expert that sits on the board of most of the top 200 ASX-listed companies, I’ve helped hundreds of would-be jail birds stay out of prison and in the share market. I’ve done this by sharing crucial insider trading tips that my white collar ancestors passed down to me. I’ve seen excellent execs...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA strange text has a local man asking the big questions today, as he attempts to decipher why a random ex-colleague still has his number.Parked up on the couch catching up on some episodes of Yellowstone, local sales manager Kyle Jameson (33) is spending the first day of January like many others around the nation, nursing...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn an unwarranted glimpse at what could have been, your old apartment has been listed online with a fresh lick of paint and understated arrogance of an ex after a fitness glow up.In case you’ve been living under a rock that you selfishly have not invited us to, there is this whole rental crisis happening where all landlords...