Millennial Ditches Office Worker Mullet For Corporate Crew Cut After Promotion
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn a shocking display of upward mobility, local millennial Paul Donovan (32) has traded in his scruffy office worker mullet for a...
Ex-Tumblr User Unsurprisingly Proficient At HTML Coding
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTIn what comes as no surprise to those familiar with 2010s internet culture, ex-Tumblr user Maya Fox (29) has revealed a hidden...
Local Woman In Financial Ruin After Inter-State Bestie Comes To Visit
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTSarah Drummond (28), is curled up on her couch, processing the financial fallout from her inter-state bestie Emma’s whirlwind weekend visiting her...
Pair Of Chronic People Pleasers Enter Third Hour Of Trying To Decide On Where To Go For Dinner
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactFriends Sarah Manning, 27, and Lindsay Hawthorn, 32, are alleged to have taken three hours to decide on dinner last night, each maintaining...
Office Workers Who Accidentally Wore The Same Outfit Forced To Pose For An Instagram Photo
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactTwo office workers who rocked up wearing white shirts and jeans have been corralled into posing for an Instagram photo this morning, which...
Standoff Escalates As Domestic Terrorist Rejects Peace Offer Of Chicken Nuggets Over Steamed Veggie Dispute
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The quiet evening at the Taylor household turned into a high-chair hostage situation last night as 546-day old toddler,...
12-Year-Old Investment Banker Given ADULT TIME For Insider Trading Conviction, Suspended Sentence
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A 12-year-old investment banker has felt the full force of the law this afternoon as he was given a...
Local Trolley Boy Just Too Damn Good At His Job To Be Let Go For Intimidating Shoppers, Smoking Weed
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A modern day stockman at the local Coles has once again survived several allegations of calling people fuckwits and smoking marijuana on the...
Local Man Still Deeply Affected By The Anti-Cat Propaganda Featured In Hairy Maclary Books
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Local man Ethan Loman, of Riverside Crescent in Betoota Heights, has revealed today that he still hasn’t fully recovered...
Police Remind Polling Centres That Sale Of Gourmet Democracy Sausages Is Illegal In Queensland And Punishable By Up To Five Years Gaol
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Queensland Police have issued a stark warning to polling stations about the illegal sale of "gourmet" democracy sausages.
Under...
