Upper Middle Class Art Parents Settle On Shakespearean Names For Their Kids
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
In an audacious move, local upper-middle-class art couple Sebastian and Miranda Ashcroft have bestowed upon their newborn twins the profoundly Shakespearean names...
Art Gallery Date Incomplete Without Pensive Photo of Boyfriend Staring At Painting Like He Gives A Fuck
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTA Melbourne couple hit a pivotal milestone in their relationship today after capturing the sacred "pensive boyfriend at gallery" Instagram shot.
Vivian Vo...
‘She’s Always Out Late Partying’ Complains Bloke Who Met Girlfriend Out Late Partying
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A bloke that met his girlfriend at a rave a few months ago has today been heard complaining about her hedonistic lifestyle, having...
Bebo Makes Unlikely Comeback As Under-16s Prepare For Social Media Apocalypse
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Once-popular social media service, Bebo, is making a comeback with young people across Australia as they prepare for the...
New Diplomatic Strategy Announced To Help Heal Shaky Relationship Between Rudd And Trump
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTThe Foreign Minister's office has devised a plan so crazy it might just work.
With the election of Donald Trump last week, many Australians...
Saving Lives While Being Spat On, Bitten And Shat On Probably Worth A Pay Rise Too – Says Everyone
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThe nation have today concluded that people who spend their days saving the lives of patients whilst copping verbal and physical abuse could...
Straight Bloke Cops Glares From The Gays And Girlies Over His Unappreciated Bubble Butt
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal straight man Nathan Dunne, 28, is reportedly growing concerned over a wave of inexplicable hostility he’s encountered after unwittingly flaunting his big...
6 Ways Millennials Can Have A Mid-Life Crisis Without Buying A Sports Car To Make Them Feel Young
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf you can't afford a sports car and swinging really isn't something you're keen on trying just yet, there are still a few...
“This Will All Be Yours One Day” Says Mum Referring To A Skip Bin’s Worth Of Knick Knacks
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA poor French Quarter woman has today been reminded that she’ll be responsible for getting rid of all her parents’ junk when they...
Melbourne Rental Applications Now Require Prospective Tenants To Partake In A Quick Blood Ritual
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactMelbourne property managers have called for the rental application process to become even more humiliating and demoralising, by requiring all applicants to partake...
