Murder Scene In Bathroom Is Just Sister’s Cherry Red Hair Maintenance Routine
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
A grim discovery in the Betoota Hills household of the Parker family has turned out to be less CSI and more DIY.
Shannon...
Woman Who Hasn’t Finished a Book Since Twilight Confident She’ll Get Through A Whole Dolly Alderton These Holidays
CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACTEmily Stevens (26) has boldly declared to friends that these holidays she will reclaim her long- lost identity as a reader, despite...
Multiple Letters Addressed To Multiple Former Tenants Suggests Landlords Are Going To Be A Handful
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTAlarm bells have begun ringing off in a local share house resident’s head after he noticed that the letters he's receiving in the...
Local Girl Fights The Feminine Urge To Leave Society And Live In A Stone Cottage In A Dense Forest
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman yet again finds herself fighting the feminine urge to completely remove herself from civilisation and live in the forest, where...
Woman Who Thinks She Managed To Dodge A Hangover Actually Still Very Drunk And Should Not Be Driving
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who thought she managed to dodge a hangover after spending several hours on the piss last night, is blissfully unaware she...
Local Man Receives Annual ‘Love Actually’ Glare From Wife During The Necklace Scene
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man has once again found himself on the receiving end of a scathing glare from his wife...
Bunnings Says The Snipers On The Roof Are For Your Protection
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Bunnings has defended the use of snipers this week after the hardware giant was accused of overstepping the mark...
Local Woman Always A Happy Little Vegemite By The Time Long Awaited Psych Appointment Rolls Round
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who was finally able to have a consultation with a psychiatrist has unfortunately found herself positively radiating this morning, momentarily forgetting...
Local Man Would Totally Buy That Rooted 2010 Prado For $40k If He Had The Money And Brain Damage
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An impressionable apprentice from our town's French Quarter has been successfully talked out of financing an off-white 2010 Landcruiser...
Woman Who Usually Gets Group Chat To Analyse Messages From Crush Now Getting ChatGPT Involved Too
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman who usually relies on her mates to analyse text messages has found a new bestie in ChatGPT, who’s not only available...
