Anti-Vaxxer Parents Warp Life Expectancy Statistics By Counting Child’s Age In Dog Years
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
Some residents of the Northern Rivers of NSW have today figured out how to game the system.
Daisy and Luke Watersmith from the...
Sleep Deprived Man Eats Entire Bowl Of Sugar Without Even Realising It Wasnt His Normal Cereal
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
In a somewhat sad story breaking out of our town's Heights district this morning, a docile local bachelor has consumed nearly 250 grams...
‘Love It Or Leave’ Says Man Who Regularly Tells People He Hates What Australia’s Become
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A local retiree from our town's Betoota Grove has again taken to social media today to let his 56 Facebook friends (who are...
Employees Forced To Appreciate Boss’s Meme
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In the ever coarsening of the daily grind, employees of Bush Catering were forced to appreciate a meme shared on their mandatory internal...
“Stop Buying Avocado Toast” Says Boomer With Personalised Number Plates
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The decomposing dead horse of jokes about avocados and homeownership continues to be beaten into the cold, wintery earth with vigour as newsagent...
“I’m A Big Kid At Heart” Says Grown Man Who Sleeps In A Single Bed
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In breaking news, it has been revealed that local unit Nick ‘Kingo’ King refers to himself as a ‘big kid at heart’ primarily...
Advertising Agency Makes Up For Not Paying Overtime By Installing Sparkling Water On Tap
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
One of Betoota’s top advertising agencies, TBJUQS/Smith, has successfully tricked its employees into thinking they’re not being overworked and underpaid by having a...
Local Woman Makes Monumental Mistake Of Asking Gym Instructor What Kind Of Music He’s Into
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local HR representative Sophie Mackay's winter body has met its biggest hurdle yet this afternoon.
This comes as the 26-year-old Betoota Grove woman made...
Funeral Guest Immediately Regrets Asking Mourning Family Member How Things Have Been
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Belle Goliath, the girlfriend of Bill Smith, is today attending the funeral of the late Sandrine Smith, an eighty-six-year-old grandmother who passed away...
Christian School Introduces ‘No Gender, No Play’ Rule
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With Scott Morrison now locked in as Prime Minister until the Libspill pencilled in for 2021, a local Christian school has felt empowered...
