Woman Who Just Watched Ozark Suspects Eternally Empty Kebab Shop Is A Money-Laundering Front
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Leisa Wentworth had an epiphany as she walked past an empty Abdul’s Village Delight on New Beach Road this evening.
Leisa informed The Advocate...
Substitute Music Teacher Wastes 5 Minutes Of Everyone’s Life By Setting Homework
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A fast and loose lesson of year 9 music came to an unceremonious end earlier today as substitute teacher, Mr Chadwick (26), wasted...
Local Woman Offers Solution To Friend’s Problem That Isn’t Water Or Exercise
MATILDA MARTIN | Local News | CONTACT
A local woman has surprised her friends by listening to their problems and then responding with an unorthodox piece of advice – one...
Local Man Faces Daily Choice Between Knowing What’s Going On In The World And Being Happy
MATILDA MARTIN | Local News | CONTACT
For Todd Guthrie, just like many Australians, every day involves a difficult choice; the choice between staying informed and being happy.
The 23-year-old barista...
Local Woman Riding High Off Rush Of Closing All 58 Of Her Open Chrome Tabs At Once
MATILDA MARTIN | Local News | CONTACT
“I didn’t think. I just did it,” Jenna Cartman, 26, told The Advocate.
The Perth native had been living with a cluttered browser for weeks...
White Collar Fuckwit Humble Brags With Itinerary Of European Holiday In Auto-Reply Email
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
For local on-the-spot fintech entrepreneur turned magnate, Johnny (39, Betoota Grove) the idea of getting away to Europe during the Australian winter months...
Instagram Influencer’s Most Recent Post Reaches New Milestone Of Likes From People Taking A Dump
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
@Bec_the_sun_lover, one of Betoota’s biggest Instagram influencers, is today celebrating her most-liked post ever.
The post shows a bikini-clad Bec on a beach...
Big Kahuna On Weight Loss Journey Opts For Diet Sprite
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Tom ‘The Bull’ McMutton, third-grade prop for the Betoota Dolphins, was told by his doctor that he would have to change his diet...
Pilot Of 1997 Corolla Checks Everyone Has Seatbelts On Before Taking Off
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Passengers on a late-night Maccas run were assured of their safety as captain of the 1997 Corolla ensured everyone had their seatbelts on...
“I Have A Headache” Says Mate Who Drinks 1.25L Of Coke Every Smoko
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local construction worker Lesley Scott (38) is reported to be complaining about a headache again during a busy work day.
As his colleagues rush...
