Degenerate Pisshead Searching For New Share House Suddenly Rebrands As Someone Who ‘Likes Quiet Nights At Home’
CLIFFORD GUNCOTTON| Musings | ContactBetoota grog-monster, mad-dog, mad-rooter and all-round mad-man Trent Huntly has recently found himself without a home, having set fire to the shed at his...
Woman Now Unable To Do Anything On Her Phone After Mistakenly Moving A Single App
CLIFFORD GUNCOTTON| Musings | ContactIn a disastrous move for own personal efficiency, Betoota woman Geraldine Mason (33) has accidentally moved an application on her phone’s home screen.“I...
Count Orlok Or Fitzroy Fuckboi? This Woman Just Found A Tall Moustached Bloke Who’s Obsessed With His Ex!
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman who just finished watching Nosferatu has come to the realisation that she might be dating her very own Count...
Dad Set To Receive 2025’s ‘Good Going-Out Shirt’ This Christmas
CLIFFORED GUNCOTTON | Musings | CONTACTLOOKS NICE, DOESN'T IT!?In 2024’s most predictable news, Local Betoota Heights father Gary Winslett is set to receive a nice shirt for Christmas...
Sydney Local Officially Old After Being Satisfied With The 9pm Fireworks
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
In what experts are calling a definitive sign of aging, 29 year old Sydney girl Grace Thompson has declared the 9pm fireworks display...
Local Woman Can Feel Pupils Physically Dilate While Walking Through The Myer Gift Box Section
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has accepted that she is well and truly into her thirties today, after a stroll through the Myer gift section...
Bush Priest’s Toes Curl Off After Taking Confession From Bloke Home From Big Smoke For Christmas
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A parish priest in the soulless sprawl of Betoota Heights has reportedly been left a broken man after hearing...
Lack Of Great-Grandkids Means Extended Family Christmas Will Be Another Almighty Piss Up
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACTA local extended family whose youngest member is 23 years old is preparing for yet another Christmas that resembles something out of Oktoberfest.
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Snobby Neighbours Ski Trip To Japan Means Their Luxury In-Ground Totally Up For Grabs
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTIn breaking news that’s sure to put a smile on the face of everyone who lives in Betoota Grove, the Kidman’s...
Local Bloke Sets World Record For “Fastest Present Unwrapping To Marketplace Listing”
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In breaking news from the front living room of a Betoota Heights McMansion, a local man has just written himself into...
