Woman Attending Rave For The First Time Blown Away By How Friendly Everyone Is!
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman is today singing praises about rave culture, having recently attended her first ever outdoor rave in the outer skirts of...
Needlessly Competitive Colleague Ends Water Vessel Dick Measuring Contest With 44-Gallon Drum Drink Bottle
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A quiet Friday morning at the Betoota Heights Business Park was shattered today when a 34-year-old sales manager rolled...
Local Girl Sharpens The Claws Ahead Of Highly Anticipated Warehouse Sale
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACTI HAD IT FIRST: Local fashion fiend Maddie Clarke, 26, has reportedly entered full combat mode as the countdown begins for the...
“Probably Off To Pizza Hut For Lunch” Dad Says Of Speeding Fire Engine
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local father has turned to his school-age son and sneered this afternoon after watching a screaming, speeding fire...
Old Poor Person Thrilled To Discover Boyish Surgical Resident Will Be Learning How To Operate On People On Him
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A patient at Royal Betoota Base Hospital has embraced the uniquely regional experience of entrusting his life to a...
Bachelor With Bed Tucked Into The Corner Of Bedroom Obviously Doesn’t Get Any
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local bachelor today stands accused of not having much luck in the love department, after it was revealed that he keeps his...
“Who The Fuck Are All These People” Wonders Man Walking Past Packed Restaurants On A Rainy Wednesday Night
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As rain drizzled down onto the cobblestone streets of Betoota's fabled French Quarter, city worker Liam Fitzpatrick found himself...
“Nah It’s Not Heavy, I Just Need To Get A Better Grip’’ Says Bloke Very Clearly Struggling To Pick Up Furniture
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke picking up a couch has had to assure the owner that he has no issues handling it himself, despite being unable...
Liberal Party Now Panicking That The Acronym For Dutton’s New Slogan Makes Them Look Gay
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs Peter Dutton unveils the new campaign slogan, ‘Let’s Get Australia Back On Track’ or ‘LGABOT’, for short, it’s unknown whether the liberal...
Ex-Horse Girl Greens Voter Really Torn Up About Those Wild Brumbies Causing Environmental Damage In The High Country
CLIFFORD GUNCOTTON| Musings | ContactIn a rare moment of uncertainty, Betoota Green’s member Anna Cookson isn’t too sure where she stands on government plans to cull horses in...
