Report: Every Current Popstar Now Younger Than You
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In sad news for anyone in their mid-thirties, it has been confirmed that any current popstar who is in any way considered cool...
Australian Cocaine Addict Must Have Really Done A Lot Of The Shit
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Betoota CBD stock broker Linas Courtauld (31) has taken the first positive step in his life and admitted he is struggling with addiction.
Courtauld...
Free Spirit Colleague Somehow Manages to Drop Burning Man into Unrelated Conversation at Office Christmas Party
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In breaking news, a one-time Burning Man attendee has magically managed to name drop her desert rave experience into an unrelated...
Local Woman Spends A Little Too Much Time Wondering What Picture Would Be Used If She Went Missing
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Local woman Emma Shields was fifteen minutes into watching ‘The Quiet Place’ with her boyfriend, Paul when she decided to switch it to...
P-Plater Forced To Replace Brake Pads After Squealing Gets Louder Than Stereo
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
A local P-Plater has been forced to actually have his brake pads replaced after the sound of the front discs being slowly destroyed became louder than...
Finance Bro That Rode The Crypto Wave Now Seen Getting Heavily Into Cashback Apps
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Like many twenty somethings who have no hope of getting a house the regular way, local finance bro Alan Fletcher has gotten really...
Bloke Parked In Loading Zone Says It’s Okay Because His Car Is Really Expensive
COL DUNCAN | Local | CONTACT
A local boomer has earned the scorn of workers at the Betoota Plains Mall this morning as he parked his luxury vehicle in...
Suppressed Lana Del Rey Pixie Resents Parents For Not Forcing Her To Learn Musical Instrument
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
A Betoota Grove woman has today expressed anger towards her parents for failing to force her to take up an instrument or attend...
Friendly Convo With Random Couple At Bar Intensifies With ‘We Think You’re Very Attractive’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
Sometimes, admiration can come from the most unlikely of places and for local woman, Maddie Coates, a seemingly innocuous drink has turned into...
Local Priest Struggling to Find Silver Lining To The Pandemic In First Draft Of Christmas Sermon
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Priest is suffering a severe case of writer's block this afternoon, struggling to make any headway into the first...
