“My Phone Battery Is Fucked” Says Mate With ADHD Who Doesn’t Leave The Fucking Thing Alone
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man who goes through iPhones quicker than running shoes is today complaining to anybody who'll listen that...
Local Woman Watches In Awe As Friend Seamlessly Chucks Hair Into Bun Without A Single Road Bump
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today had a glimpse into what it must be like to be one of the chosen people, after witnessing...
Cody Simpson Becomes Most Successful Musician/Athlete Since Brett Lee’s Foray Into Bollywood
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
Popular Gold Coast man Cody Simpson has this week achieved an incredible feat, jumping from the deep end of the music industry into...
Local Bloke Agrees To Take Part In Nightclub Brawl After Spotting Hectic Older Cousin Up The Back
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Patrons were treated to some old fashioned windmilling on the dance floor of one of Betoota's premiere nightlife venues in the early hours...
Local Woman Resents Her Stupid Brother For Inheriting The Unfairly Long, Thick Eyelashes
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf there's one thing local woman Shae Huxley has learned in her twenty-two years on earth, it's that life isn't fair - a...
Cost Of Living Crisis Forces Supermarkets To Padlock Dumpster To Maintain Food Waste Culture
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In response to what the Australian media are calling the cost of living crisis, supermarkets have stepped up and begun padlocking their dumpsters...
Stepdad Sucks The Prawn Head
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAs the nation continues to embrace the culinary Christmas traditions that give us our own little glimpse into culture, Aussies are once again...
Sweaty Dad Told To Avoid Nice Furniture And Take Rightful Place On Towel Covered Armchair
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local dad has narrowly avoided ruining nice furniture today, after coming home from work caked in sweat.
It’s alleged John Reid had...
Ungrateful Newborn Reserves Biggest Smiles For The Two Hours Spent With Dad After Work
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs local mum Courtney Delonge watches her newborn erupt into the biggest smile she’s ever seen, she wonders if it’s rational to resent...
‘Manifestation’ Found To Be The Adult Equivalent Of Trying To Move Things With Your Mind After Watching Matilda
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some findings that really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, it’s been discovered that there is a direct correlation between those...
