“What Do You Mean My Properties Won’t Automatically Go Up In Value” Asks Furious Investor
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A local Real Estate investor has today asked the government to do something, anything.
Graham Wood has called on the people in power...
Local Girl Holds Back Tears As Hairdresser Mistakes ‘Below The Shoulders’ For The Lord Farquaad
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactStaring at herself in the salon mirror as she wonders if she’s always been this ugly, Louisa Flynn finds her reverie briefly...
Bloke Overcome With Urge To Message Ex After Fuckboy Tingle Alerts Him She May Be Moving On
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs he eagerly nods yes to offers of a knockoff beer (or two), local chippie Jacob Martin is suddenly overcome with a strange...
Woman Whose Car Tyres Are As Bald As The Rock Sees No Issue With Dropping $2k On A New Tattoo
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs she looks in the mirror, local woman Lizzie Gordon comes to the shocking realisation that she hasn’t updated her appearance in...
“You Don’t Know My Story” Says Woman Who’s Plastered Every Last Minute Of Her Story On Facebook
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA mysterious woman has this week informed her followers that they might know her name, but they certainly do not know her story.
Taking...
Carlton Lose In The Most Carlton Way Possible
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some news from the world of Victorian Leg Tennis, the Carlton Football Club has turned in an absolute vintage performance this weekend,...
Local Personal Trainer Sprays On Some Chinos For Rare Calorie-Charged Bucks Day At The Races
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local F45 franchise owner is sucking in the big ones this morning, as he attempts to squeeze his hulking, waxed...
Advice Column | Marie Kondo Your Life Savings And See If That Sparks Joy
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | Contact
How does one become rich? Is it by having millions of dollars in the bank? Multiple properties and a multimillion dollar...
Insurance Industry Think-Tank Asks Whether Summer Of Extreme Flooding Or Bushfire Is Preferred Option
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | CONTACT
In a moment of scintillating clarity, an insurance industry think-tank has today realised that there are only two meteorological options remaining for this...
Dual Profile Pic Changes Suggest Childhood Sweethearts Have Finally Called It Quits
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some sadder news, it looks like 2022 has broken up yet another couple - Betoota French Quarter’s resident ‘couples goals’ Michelle Long...
