Recently Dumped Bloke Fails To Heal Crippling Heartbreak With New Found NFL Fandom
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local bloke is looking to mend a broken heart this week as he attempts to band-aid his feelings by becoming...
Childhood Film To Fix Sunday Morning Lack Of Serotonin
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAs physics has long dictated, what goes up must come down. Last night, previously reformed party animal Michaela Dale (32) partook in the recreational...
IT Guy At Work Begins Two Week Mourning Period Following Discontinuation Of Lift
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As a black veil continues to hang heavy over the head of monarchists, others are dealing with loss for a whole other reason.
Insurance...
Woo Girls Who Got On It A Bit Too Hard Take Turns Having A Massive Sob At 3am Kickons
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA group of very silly sausages have last weekend flown too close to the sun, which has resulted in a domino effect of...
Farm Worker Gets Paid In Cash After Landing Lucrative Agricultural Job At Cash Farm
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
With Australian farmers offering to pay workers in accommodation and produce, one farm seems to have gotten the balance right.
Farm worker Allison White...
Pre-Exam Student Chewing Her Gum Like It Holds The Secrets To A Semester Worth Of Missed Classes
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | ContactA student at the South Betoota Polytechic has given her jaw a workout for the ages today, it can be confirmed.
With her final...
Goldfish Comes Home In Plastic Bag That Will Outlast Fish By 150,000,000 Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA household got a new member today at the exact same time planet Earth got a new pollutant.Returning home with a goldfish he...
Stingy Housemate Argues Semantics Over Exact Percentage Of Power Bill He’s Responsible For
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTGlen Mathieson (25) and his two share house companions deeply regret the day Jared Hobley (25) became their new housemate.
Sure, they needed a...
MC At Suburban Cricket Fundraiser Sensationally Lands Edgy Joke About Club Captain’s ‘Middle Stump’
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
It was on for young and old last night at the inaugural Betoota Dugongs sportsman's fundraiser dinner, as our town's finest grade cricketers...
Report: 80% Of Australian Grandfathers Claim To have Invented Cheese And Vegemite
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Spartacus-like standoff has been taking place in Australia for close to 100 years as it has been confirmed 80% of Australian grandfathers...
