Local Bloke Spends Day Of Mourning With Dogs And Horses Like The Queen Would Have Wanted
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal bloke Jason Croydon is a man of good morals.
Not only has he been drowning his sorrows all week after hearing of the...
Office Staff Scrounge Around To Find Excited Graduate Employee Her First Ever Chair In The Workforce
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactEmployees at One Pump Digital have this week been forced to scrounge around for a spare office chair and keyboard, after ‘forgetting’ to...
Local Stoner Hammers An Up & Go Despite Having Nothing To Get Up And Go For
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTContinuing his trend of behaviour that can only be explained by drugs, local stoner Oscar Knott (32) hammered an Up & Go at...
Weirdly Honest Politician Admits ‘Labour Shortage’ Is Just Slang For ‘Cheaper Migrant Labour Shortage’
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
There is a dire shortage of labour and skills in Australia, the government and big business can confirm.
More strikingly, there is now...
Nephew Now Old Enough To Witness Fun Uncle Transform Into Extremely Antisocial Drunk Uncle
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAdolescence is a magical time of change known for traumatising absolutely everyone who goes through it.One eventual adult is William Burton (12) of...
Quaint Local Woman Knows Nobody At Work Will Question Her Pulling A Sickie For Violent Spitty Bum
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs she delays her alarm by another fifteen minutes, Michelle Park tries to muster the courage to get ready for work.
She’s really not...
Local Craft Beer Festival Nowhere Near As Fun As When You Used To Pump 14 Cruisers In This Park As A Teenager
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactFuck me.
Freya Halliday has stupidly agreed to go to a beer festival.
Not just any kind of beer festival, but a craft beer festival.
Which...
“Better Turn Them” Says Bloke Who Rocked Up To BBQ With Bag Of Natural Corn Chips And Two Beers
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A well manicured lawn in Betoota's Flight Path District is reported to have hosted a catastrophic gaffe over the weekend, as a local...
Buckingham Palace Forgets To Send Funeral Invitation To The Publican At Betoota’s Royal Hotel
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Thousands of international dignitaries have today descended upon Britain to honour the life of Queen Elizabeth II.
In case you somehow didn't already know,...
New Mum Who Carried Baby For 9 Months Settles On ‘Fergus’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The word is out amongst millenials and having kids is officially cool, provided you give them a kind of daggy, old world name.
New...
