Local Optimist Concludes At Least Feeling Scorned About Failed Situationship Means She’s Over Her Ex Now
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactOh no.
The day has come.
Deep down, Laurie Schultz knew it would happen eventually but hadn’t expected it to be quite so brutal.
Her situationship,...
La Niña Weather Patterns Destroy Wardrobe Full Of Summer Hoe Outfits
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some more sad news for the nation’s woo girls, it can be now confirmed that La Niña will continue to wreak havoc...
Local Woman Immediately Regrets Asking Hippy About Tattoo
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTKick-ons participator Haley McKenna (28) ruined her evening by making a mistake she will surely never make again. During a much needed Saturday night...
Local Girl Uses Friend’s Lavish Engagement Party to Hard Launch New Boyfriend
KEITH T. DENNETT | Editor | CONTACTA local Betoota girl has capitalised on a rather swanky engagement party, using the extravagant occasion to officially ‘Hard Launch’ her new...
Local Girl Spends Costume Party Avoiding Eye Contact With Weird Dude Dressed As ‘The Joker’
KEITH T. DENNETT | Editor | CONTACTAfter a four year stint at University and a long history of mingling in circles filled with ‘Drama kids’, local Betoota girl...
Clueless Bloke Suggesting Hiking As A First Date Has Obviously Never Watched A True Crime Doco
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA clueless bloke has today fucked up by innocently suggesting hiking as a first date activity, which is not only a rather streneous...
Groom Getting Suit Measurements Swears He’ll Have Bigger Pipes On Wedding Day
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTFinally being treated like a true gentleman, groom-to-be Warren Henley (30) went to a bespoke tailor-made suit shop that churns out thousands of...
Uncultured Swine With The Tastebuds Of A Child Describes Choc Mint As ‘Toothpaste Flavoured’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has today gotten in an argument with a coworker, after a pleasant chat about food devolved into a slew of...
Local Man Uses Tongs To Individually Turn Over Each Chip On The Baking Pan Like He’s Performing Surgery
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | ContactA Betoota Heights man has shrugged off accusations that he takes making hot chips at home a bit too seriously, telling The Advocate...
Boomer Journo Passes Out From Blood Rushing To Penis After 21-Year-Old Buys A Home – On Her Own*
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Sydney Morning Herald journalist has this morning been rushed to hospital after his neighbour, Valerie Trickett, informed him that her 21 year...
