Dust Covered Self Help Book From Last Christmas Friendly Reminder You’ve Done Jack Shit All Year
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Steaming into his house after a night on the piss, it appears local carpet salesman Beau Hewitt has managed to do...
Bali Immune From Uncle’s Disdain For Overseas Travel
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As his nieces and nephews make plans to travel overseas, uncle Tim Mirken (58) has made it clear that overseas travel is a...
Local Black Sheep Cancels Plan To Ruin Christmas After Learning Nan Is Knitting Him A Jumper
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local family yardstick Dillain Crooper (34) has made an adjustment to his holiday plans following a leak in his incoming Christmas presents.
In his...
Advice Column | Educating Staff On How To Decouple Record Profits From Their Low Wage Growth
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Are you an important corporate exec like me? Then you’d know that in times of booming corporate profits like...
Average Australian On $62k A Year Upset To Learn Average Australian Wage Is $92k A Year
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
From deep within the thronging mass of average worker bees scurrying about Betoota’s financial district, a typical Joe has been caught staring vacantly...
‘Car Garaged Overnight Or Outside On Street?’ Motorist Considers Lying On Insurance Form For Cheaper Annual Fee
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
A motoring enthusiast who was born and raised in Betoota Ponds is today considering insurance fraud in order to save himself $79 this...
Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He’s Got A Licence For Those Guns
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Brett Walker is blushing today, after being savagely lit up by a group of his mates.
The Betoota Heights man has faced the wrath...
‘Vote For Guy, Not Andrews’ Herald Sun Headlines Not Even Pretending To Be Unbiased Anymore
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
The Herald Sun might be getting desperate, it can be confirmed.
This comes after Victoria’s most widely read tabloid has spent months going...
Local Woman Briefly Taken Aback By Seeing Man’s Wispy Armpit Hair
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has had the shock of her life this afternoon after completely forgetting that armpit hair existed, it's reported.
As someone who...
Fuck: Mate Who’s Always ‘On’ Wants To Hang Out Midweek
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact“Well shit, thinks local woman Lilly Malvern, going into panic mode, “he’s got me.”
She should have known better than to be honest when...
