World Cup Cameraman Manages To Go 10 Minutes Without Finding A Smokeshow In The Crowd
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
An essential cog in the World Cup machine has been showered with praise today, after managing to pull off a spectacular achievement.
The...
‘iPads Are Lazy Parenting’ Says Woman Whose Kids Used To Melt Wheelie Bins In Middle Of The Night
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactShaking her head in disdain, Kathleen Schultz informs The Advocate that she’s sick and tired of seeing exhausted young parents taking the...
Mate Who Insists On Walking Home Maggoted Told To Get In The Uber Nedd Brockmann
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local loose cannon has this weekend been forcibly pinned down by his mates after yet again getting a little belligerent on the...
Entire Train Carriage Treated To Depraved Group Chat Voice Messages
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn proof that some people do not feel the shame they deserve, local pest Mario ‘Muzza’ Lombardo (22) listened to three days worth...
Unremarkable Yuppie Informs Mates That He’s ‘Got That Dog In Him’ Before Game Of Social Tennis
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A physically and arguably existentially unremarkable yuppie has this week raised eyebrows with a questionable claim.
Michael Gomez (28) did so by informing...
Woman Who’s Had Three Failed Relationships This Year Has Pretty Fair Idea Of What Spotify Wrapped Will Look Like
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA permanently heartbroken Betoota Heights woman has today found herself cringing a little, after spotting numerous articles and tweets suggesting that Spotify Wrapped...
All The Girls Put On Strict Nipple Patrol For Local Bachelorette In Risky Top
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA group of girls have this weekend come together to help out a friend sporting a tiny crop top (more like 'flop' top),...
Jacarandas Begin Transforming From Majestic Purple Flora To Dangerous Footpath Sludge
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With just two days until the official start of the Australian Summer, the glorious blooms of Spring are starting to wrap up.
The sun...
Hot-Shot Entrepreneur Calls Girlfriend “Babe” At The Start And End Of Every Sentence
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
Dill Fromps (27), the slickest entrepreneur this side of Betoota Grove, has continued on his breathtaking rise up the ranks of start-up stardom.
The...
Small Town Pregnancy Rumour All But Confirmed As Local Couple List Suzuki Swift On Marketplace
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Texts are flying across Betoota’s 3G network this evening after a post on Facebook Marketplace ignites some local gossip.
At 8:32pm AEST,...
