Local Unit Quietly Thrilled Cost Cutting Measures Inspires Return of Woolies Mud Cake For Office Birthdays
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A proud member of the common sense brigade is celebrating a win today as he tucks into some workplace Birthday cake.As...
Local Bloke Hides Closet Backstreet Boy Fandom By Buying Girlfriend Tickets for “Birthday Surprise”
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA local girl is in shock this evening, after being blindsided by a larger than life birthday present.Walking in the door...
Suburban Crim That Scans Capsicums As Carrots Also Helps Himself To Someone Else’s Umbrella After a Few Beers
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A white collar fugitive is reportedly on the loose this evening, as authorities respond to a steady rise in local umbrella...
Mate Amping Up In The Bucks Chat 6am Saturday Morning Most Likely To Be in Bed by 9pm
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA mate who’s notoriously all bark and no bite is causing quite a stir this morning, as he attempts to generate...
Stingy Housemate Argues Semantics Over Exact Percentage Of Power Bill He’s Responsible For
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactGlen Mathieson (25) and his two share house companions deeply regret the day Jared Hobley (25) became their new housemate.
Sure, they needed a...
Acoustic Mariah Carey Cover Just Wasting Everybody’s Time
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA record number of everyone’s time was wasted today as local musician Gavin Bowles (30) attempted an acoustic cover of a Mariah Carey...
Disgruntled Woman Temporarily Deletes Love Heart From Boyfriend’s Contact Name After Small Dispute
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIsolation madness is said to have hit couples the hardest this week, as people begin to realise just how unbearable their other half...
Bogeyman Thwarted After Child Deploys Doona
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACTA quick-thinking child has been spared a grisly demise after seeking refuge under the doona in response to strange sounds in his bedroom...
Jacob Says Interest Rates At A 10 Year High Due To Local Girls Finding Out He Broke Up With Kaylee
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In news that has ruined Christmas for millions, a pre-Christmas interest rate rise has been delivered this morning by The Reserve Bank.
This is...
‘It’s Not The Taste It’s The Texture’ Says Fussy Eater Who Won’t Go Near Anything Not Covered In Smoky BBQ
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTLetting out an exaggerated sigh, local woman Phillipa Wallace once again finds herself forced to explain her deeply intricate textural issues with certain...
