Shacked Up Mate 8 Years Off The Market Reckons He’d Do Alright On The Apps
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTOne old dog reckons he can learn a few new tricks, as self-described ‘Wife Guy’ Ben Roman (30) reckons he’d know what to...
Oh Fuck: ‘Fishing Trip’ Wasn’t Code For Anything
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA local idiot has found himself envying the worms on the end of his hook as it turns out that ‘Fishing Trip’ wasn’t...
‘God, Is EVERYTHING Pride Now?’ Mutters Frustrated Boomer Simply Trying To Watch The News
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke from Beaconsfield has today found himself getting royally pissed off, after failing to outrun the rainbow that seemed hellbent on following...
Dad Befriends Local Delinquents As Part Of Long-Term Plan To Destroy Trees Without Council Approval
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In a political landscape hamstrung by bureaucracy and red tape, one local dad has taken matters of urgency into his own hands.
Todd 'Blackie'...
Girlfriend’s Annoying Goblin Dog Just Fucking Staring At Ya
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs he tries to watch a movie in peace after a shitty day of answering emails from obnoxious clients, local bloke Jeff Austin...
Girl Who Moved To New York Admits Her Broad City Dreams Haven’t Exactly Worked Out As Planned
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough Anita Lang should have known that any depiction of twenty somethings living in new york would be highly fabricated, it appears that...
Local Wait Staff Enjoy Betting On Which Table Of Valentines Will Make It To Easter
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA team of bored waiters have spiced up their shift this evening by running sweepstakes on the tables in their restaurant.
Packed...
Report: Plastic Servo Rose Should Do The Trick
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
A new report has found that a plastic rose from the local servo, valued at only $9.95, is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.
Totem...
Cruel Coles DJ Twists Knife With Bon Iver and Adele Playlist For Single Shoppers Buying Ice Cream
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTIn breaking retail news, Coles Supermarkets have been referred to the department of fair trading this Valentine's Day for engaging in...
Woman Who’d Have To Deal With Months Of Whinging Informs Mate That No, She Would Not Suit A Bob
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactStaring at her mate with a look of amusement and disbelief, local woman Christie Lawson informs her that no, chopping off all...
