QLD Government To Fix Youth Crime Crisis By Turning Petty Delinquents Into Hardened Adult Crims
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
With a crime wave spreading across the great state of Queensland, the government has decided to act.
In an effort to show people...
Girlfriend Shocked After Man’s Knockabout Mullet Phase Progresses Into Actual Hair Care Regime
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Local woman Hayley Mescal has today found herself feeling a mixture of shock, pride and suspicion, after her boyfriend Tom was seen...
“So I’ll Book You Again In For Next Month” Gently Threatens Barber Holding Razor To First Timers Throat
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An unfortunate hostage situation is unfolding on the streets of Betoota Mall today after a local man decided he’d try out...
Bloke Who Bought A $130 Round On Saturday Night Shakes Head At Girlfriend’s Gourmet Muesli Choice
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local boyfriend has made a fool of himself this weekend, it can be confirmed.
While many of his friends might have assumed...
Div 4 Footy Team Launch Into Pre-Season With 3 Rounds Of Sit Ups Followed By 13 Rounds At Shitty Local Pub
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In local sporting news, the Dev 4 Betoota Dolphins side have launched into pre-season today, getting together to break the first...
Report: Drinking Savvy B’s And Popping On Some Doja Found To Be The Perfect Way To Do Pres
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA private study conducted by the Woo Girls Association (WGA) has confirmed that there is absolutely nothing better than hyping yourself up with...
Cost Of Living Forces Millenial To Cut Down On Decadent Luxuries Such As Household Utilities and Healthcare
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA Betoota Millennial has been forced to be their own treasurer as they continue to feel the pinch of the ‘cost of living...
Mum Pauses World As Cyndi Lauper Comes On Radio
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTEarlier today a Betoota mum informed her husband, kids and the world that they’re going to have to hang on a second as...
Girlfriend Of 3rd Grade Prop Tells The Big Fella That His Coach’s Fat-Shaming Is NOT Okay
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Betoota Mutts are dealing with some strong allegations about their culture, after being soft cancelled this week.
The foundation club here in...
‘Fuck Here We Go Again’: New Lana Del Rey Single Spurs Woman To Revisit Entire Catalogue
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Kayla Fortunati remembers exactly where she was when she heard Summertime Sadness for the first time.
Having been briefly introduced to Lana...
