Local News

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT With flocks of Sydney Hens parties about to flood the Hunter Valley, local limo drivers are reportedly giving their collection of ‘Puke Pots’ a thorough wash. Reports from The Advocate’s Hunter Valley bureau have identified several stretch limo drivers from Pokolbin who are gearing up for a big weekend, with local weather forecasting light showers of backseat...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The inquiry into whether former Gladys Berejiklian breached public trust has moved behind closed doors this afternoon, as the former NSW Premier continues to be pressed on the details of her relationship with Daryl Maguire. The Independent Commission Against Corruption in NSW is currently investigating if Berejiklian acted improperly, with her relationship with the former MP for Wagga being...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Students of Betoota Grove Girl’s College have been checked for minor cuts and lacerations after completely obliterating the glass ceiling earlier today.  On a busy bus ride to the south-west Queensland Netball Championship heats, a group of no fewer than twenty BGGC students launched into a gender-swap performance of the infamous “I wish that all the ladies…” chant. The “I...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Betoota resident Clive Crook (43) is bleeding a different type of red, white and blue today as he takes Halloween to new levels of trans-pacific patriotism. A lover of all things American, from basketball to the commercialisation of a gaelic holiday, Crook wanted to take his Halloween celebration into previously unseen levels of Americanisation. Although Australia is the only country...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As the petrol price skyrockets around the country and the world, Betoota Plains man Phil Phoden reckons he has found a way to save himself a little bit of money. The Barefoot Investor disciple from our town's fringe suburb where the urban meets the paddock said he's got an easy hack to save on his fuel bill. "Basically,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local Betoota Grove dad has today made it abundantly clear to his 19-year-old daughter that he is there for her. 58-year-old fumigator, Bob Clarence, wasn't expecting such a deeply personal message from his second oldest today - but he's glad she knows she can talk to him whenever she feels the need to do so - about anything. After...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the nation prepares for the annual summer holidays, mums right around the country are today just calling in to check that they aren't a bit too ambitious with their Christmas plans. With millions of inter-state and cross-state siblings and cousins preparing their own holiday season, it is now time for the matriarchs to strike, before they lose any...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the summer heatwaves begin to ramp up, one of Queensland's most learned high school students has today given his form room teacher a heads up that she might be breaking the law unless she does what he says. With the mercury topping a mild 30 degrees in some parts of the state today, class clowns right throughout Queensland...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local information exchange moderator has today had to act quickly to try and avoid a full-blown virtual punch-up. Rochelle Barnes, the admin of What's Happening In Betoota Heights said things nearly exploded when one of her old girlfriend's daughters posted an explosive attack in the group. "Tanya Cronk is the aggressor in question on this one,"...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local Real Estate Agent has proven himself to be the weakest link, after struggling to offer any general knowledge to a trivia team keen to take home a prize. Major controversy surrounds the decision to welcome Simon McGrady, a leasing agent from Luxe & Co Realty, who for the 3rd week in a row has failed...