Neat Freak Breathes Sigh Of Relief As ‘Clothes Pile’ On Chair Actually Just A Creepy Man Watching Her Sleep
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA self confessed neat freak last night had the absolute shock of her life, which she says was ‘worse than the time her...
Report: Ciggies Don’t Count In Bali
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTA literally breathtaking scientific report by British American Tobacco has once again confirmed that pumping your lungs full of tar is not as...
Elder Millennial Woman Finds Herself Watching Sam Rockwell’s Dance Scene In Charlie’s Angels Again
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local woman has yet again found herself embarking on her yearly horndog ritual of watching Sam Rockwell’s dance scene in Charlie’s Angels,...
Woman Returning To Gym After Being Sick For Three Days Discovers She’s At Pre-Glow Up Reps
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA woman has this week fallen victim to every gym junkie’s nightmare, by getting sick enough to require a few days off the...
Wife Who Can’t Open Jars On Her Own Somehow Maintains Impenetrable Vice Like Grip On Doona During Cold Snap
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactMuch like those stories about mothers being able to miraculously lift up cars off their trapped children, local woman Elena Hanneman has...
Forced Handshake Between Drunk Cunts In Pub At 1:30am Saves Taxpayer $450k In Legals And Medicals
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A forced handshake between two men who do not have the means to engage with legal representation, or private healthcare, has saved...
Ascot Mum Has Been Terribly Inconvenienced By Own Renovations
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
An Ascot mum cannot believe her luck today as she has once again been terribly inconvenienced by the renovations she demanded.
Also known as...
I’m Watching Citadel For The Eye Candy’ Says Local Woman Actually Referring To Stanley Tucci
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Maya Bauer has this week eagerly agreed to watch new spy thriller series, Citadel, jokingly informing her boyfriend Nate that she’ll...
Bachelor Forced To Find New Pharmacy After Developing Sexual Tension With Pharmacist
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTHorrible humanly bodily functions have ruined another trip to the pharmacist today but not in the way you might expect.As someone without a...
Local Woman Not Okay With Seeing Kids She Used To Babysit Now Pulling Beers at Hometown Pub
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTMelissa Rickson (38) knows she’s no longer the young whippet she used to be.Whether it’s the fact she’ll now choose a...
