Bloke Collecting Neighbour’s Mail While They’re Away Definitely Won’t Hold Them Against A Lamp To Read What’s Inside
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An old French Quarter codger is collecting mail this next fortnight for some neighbours down the rue, who've packed...
Local Bloke Forced To Ride A Guangzhou Gelding After Blowing The Bag Again
ERROL PAKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local bloke who overestimated both his personal resilience and the Australian winter has today been spotted silently suffering...
Unemployed Man Surviving On Snowy River Pies Says It’s Not As Good As He Thought It’d Be
ERROL PAKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man's long-held fantasy of living off frozen pies and sleeping in has officially lost its shine, just...
Golf On The Second Day Of A Bucks Enjoyed By None
ERROL PAKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A silent procession of soulless young men meandered around the Royal Birdsville Golf Club last weekend, as the second...
Recent Divorcee Set To Clean Up After Breaking Out This Old Favourite From 2009
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Break out the skinny jeans and Empire Of The Sun remixes, because one of Betoota's most eligible young bucks is about to bomb...
Elon Musk Makes A Very Powerful Enemy As Papou’s 60-Year-Old Parking Spot Gets Replaced By EV Sign
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australia's transition to electric vehicles has hit a road block in Betoota's Flight Path District this week, as a vocal detractor emerges from...
New Fridge Asks To Be Connected To The Internet For Some Godless Fucking Reason
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man is seemingly at odds with his new refrigerator this morning after it asked to be connected...
Local Woman Still Treating Cooking Chicken Like Dismantling A Radioactive Bomb
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTA local woman has today admitted that she’s still terrified of cooking chicken due to the fear of god that was put into...
Local Flugelhornist Pretends ‘Brassed Off’ Didn’t Fundamentally Alter Course Of Her Life
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A cornerstone of the Port of Betoota Brass Band has today downplayed the life-altering impact of 'Brassed Off' has...
Racist Old Bastard Wonders If Assyrian Tradie Can Poison A Few Trees For Him (He Absolutely Can BTW)
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A gibbering old fool from our town's leafiest enclave of Betoota Grove has stood on his balcony this morning...
