Politics

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the nation's capital today, the Chief Medical Officer (CMO) has announced he will be stepping down from the role - effective immediately. This comes despite the CMO Paul Kelly only being in the top job for a short period of time, after stepping into Brendan Murphy's shoes a few months ago. It's believed...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Opposition Leader Anthony Albanese last week announced a reshuffle of his frontbench, with key portfolio changes triggering a wave of conservative news outlets lambasting the party for perceived 'internal conflict'. Unlike the Coalition, who are quick to cut off disruptive backbenchers like they did with the Menzies pre-selection vote over the weekend, Albo is being criticised for weak...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Leaders from both the Federal and Victorian Liberal Party are being urged to take further action against a dapper group of right-wing university students that burnt a cross and chanted racist slogans at a popular Victorian tourist destination over the Australia Day weekend. The ceremony was believed to be celebrating the success of franking credits and strong...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT As storms begin to brew in regards to Anthony Albanese's leadership, Joel Fitzgibbon has today hit the media junket with another big demand. This time, the Member for Hunter has called for the Labor Party to give up on trying to combat climate change and instead focus upon developing a policy solely based on keeping his parliamentary salary...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's shadow leader has this week reportedly contemplated the idea of offering up some shadow policy. This comes after another few months come and go with the leader of the Opposition coasting along in the background, presumably biding his time until the lead up to the next federal election. Seeming to somewhat kick out of nuetral, Anthony...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As January 26th arrives, Australians have the annual discussion about changing the date. For some non-Indigenous Australians the idea of changing the date is bloody stupid and it’s a day for everyone because they said so on Sunrise.  Additionally, many non-Indigenous Australians accomplished in the fields of special relativity and time travel have confirmed that ‘you can’t change history.’ Luckily...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman, Eliza Thompson has always been what people would consider a ‘level headed’ person. Not one to believe in star signs, moon charts, or the effects of mercury being in retrograde, Eliza has never really felt the need to comfort herself with blind faith until now. She’s just been dumped. Eliza was reportedly pretty blindsided by...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Peter Dutton has this week welcomed the advice of experts calling for right-wing terrorism to be included in a new inquiry that has been mostly aimed at examining the type of terrorist perpetrated by people who don't like like they would be cast on Home and Away. The parliamentary joint committee on intelligence and security will run the...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT The leftie piece of shit inner-city small-L New South Wales Liberal party have today once again proven that they aren't beholden to anti-science agenda of their Federal contemporaries. Matt Kean, the NSW MP that admitted he thinks Climate Change might be real when millions of acres were on fire due to climate change, has continued to rub...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With time running out for departing US President Donald Trump to demand the recounts and proceedings he needs to win the election he lost, White House staffers are reporting their usually frolicsome leader has lost some of his natural pep.  “He hasn’t thrown a dart at me in weeks,” stated leader of the White House Porters Ian Reinfold, who...