Local Account Manager Achieves Record ROI At Networking Event By Single-Handedly Decimating Complimentary Catering
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
In a remarkable display of corporate savviness, local account manager Tom Hastings has reportedly achieved unprecedented return on investment (ROI) at a recent networking event...
Gender Medal Gap Blows Out To An Unprecedented 800% Disparity
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Economists, sports scientists and men's rights activists are this week coming to terms with a shocking new reality.
With the first week of...
Sydney Girl On Overseas Holiday Compares Every Place She Visits To A Similar Suburb Back Home
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
Sydney local Emily Parkes has today been accused of spending her entire European holiday, pointing out how every new city eerily resembles...
Tony Abbott Eagerly Awaits His Induction Into The’Hot Rodent Men’ Category
STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT
Sources from inside the former Prime Ministers office have told The Betoota Advocate that Tony Abbott is reportedly counting down the days until his...
Stubborn Father Of Daughters Risks Extreme Ridicule By Finally Asking What All This Brat Shit Is
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
In a rare display of vulnerability, local father of two Gen Z daughters, Greg Thompson (50), has bravely ventured into uncharted territory by...
Australia Expected To Rack Up Even More Golds If IOC Finally Includes 4-Square Handball
MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Calls from the Australian sporting community continue to grow as the demand for 4-square handball to be included in the Olympics grows.
Australians, who...
Paris Games Excitement Spurs Mackay To Remind Everyone They’re Australia’s Most Olympic Town
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The humble Queensland town of Mackay has politely told the rest of Australia to ‘get a dog up ya’ today.
The jewel of the...
Straddie Absolutely Ethan Yewwwwwwwing Right Now
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
There’s a serious vibe on North Straddie right now, as the residents of the island revel in the 2024 Paris Olympic Games.
With one...
Steven Miles Jumps In The Brisbane River To Prove That It’s Totally Fine For Swimming At 2032 Olympics
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Queensland Premier has today moved to allay any concerns about the viability of the Brisbane River as a venue for the 2032...
Fair Bit Of A Vibe At The Illawarra Stingrays At The Moment
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
With the long awaited Paris Olympics finally rolling around, towns, suburbs and regions all over Australia are joyfully seeing their names on the...
