Woke 94-Year-Old Refuses To Participate In Regional Nursing Home’s Melbourne Cup Luncheon
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | Contact
In news from our humble regional centre, an enlightened great-grandmother is making a bold stand today as she triumphantly says ‘Nup...
Betoota Advocate Accepts Annual Million Dollar Cheque From Gambling Lobby To Not Talk Shit About Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
CLIENT WIN: The entire Betoota Advocate staffroom has today taken Monday afternoon off, after receiving its annual lifeline.
With the first Tuesday in...
“There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch, Unless You Were Born Between 1952-1971” Says Coalition
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation's Opposition have kicked off the week by living up to their name today, and revealing their opposition to a piece of...
Group Chat Make Fairly Valid Point That It’s A Saturday Arvo And You Have Fuck All On Tomorrow
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local man has today been reminded that it is a lovely Saturday afternoon, and he hasn’t explicitly expressed his commitment to be...
Old Codger Takes A Break From Whinging About Kids Always Being On Screens To Whinge About Kids Walking Around Suburb With Their Friends
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A cheerful geriatric from Betoota Heights has today spoken to The Advocate about a big celebration in town.
While picking up some milk...
Trump Campaign Sends T-1000 Back To 1975 To Kill Arnold Schwarzenegger After Kamala Endorsement
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The US presidential election has taken a wild turn less than a week out from the polls closing.
With the November 4 election...
Taliban Mobilises Military Ahead Of Possible Intervention As Tensions Flare Up In America
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Wheels are being set in motion this week, as the world prepares for a potential geo-political crisis.
With the US election less than...
Courier Mail Author To Pivot From Fictional Stories About Youth Crime To LNP’s Economic Recovery
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A Brisbane based author has today spoken to The Advocate about the exciting new challenge ahead of him.
Fresh off the back of...
Drugged Up And Traumatised Youth Decides To Not Steal A Car After Examining 2024 QLD Election Result
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A 13-year-old kid who will now be treated like a man has today had a come to Jesus moment.
Staring into the window...
Local Year 12 Student Still Completely Fucked After Slowly Reading The Question Again
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news from the local Betoota Ponds Bowling Club, Aisling Murphy is cooked.
This comes after the 18-year-old Betoota Ponds High...
