Thank Fuck That’s Over Says Nation
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The nation has breathed a collective sigh of relief this afternoon, as the whole election thing runs the last of its course.
With...
Liberal Campaigner Applies Hand Sanitiser After Hand Shake With Visibly Working Class Voter
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A young man from Betoota Grove, our town's version of Mosman, Ascot or Toorak, has today had a rather unsavoury experience.
Just moments...
Nation Mourns Last Prime Minister Who Didn’t Look Like He Hated Every Beer Handed To Him
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The nation is mourning the death of Australia's 23rd prime minister Bob Hawke, who died yesterday aged 89.
The final day of the 2019...
Local Bloke Stages Coup Against Girlfriend After She Says She’s Banning Kick-Ons At Their Apartment
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Local crane operator, Todd Harrison, has today committed his mind to something for the first time since his year 10 exams.
The sudden...
Surprisingly Small List Of Damages To AirBNB On Bucks Weekend More Than Budgeted For In Bond
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A wave of disappointment has washed over a group of mates this morning after the damages bill came in from the Air BNB...
“Duhhh, Ummm, Duhh Borders” Says Soon-To-Be Unemployed Public Servant
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Just nine days out from the 2019 Federal Election, Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton has claimed Labor has "gone soft” on border -...
Gen X Leftie Brought To Orgasm During Mid Afternoon Paul Keating YouTube Session
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local Volvo and Sex Pistols enthusiast has today had to run to the bathroom in a hurry.
The scurry out of the...
Australian Enjoying Overseas Holiday Finds Self Ill-Equipped To Party Past Midnight
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Local man, Tyler Waters, had a sting that would kill a small child as he began his holiday in the United States of...
Report: Best Way To Distinguish Hipster From Homeless Person is Apple AirPods
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A new report from Australia’s leading scientific body, the CSIRO, has today solved a problem that has plagued Betootans for the past ten...
Woman At Airport Suddenly Unsure What Happened To The Bag Of Gear She Bought A Year Ago
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Fear has turned the blood of a young Betoota woman cold today as she waits in line at Betoota International Airport.
While she...
