James Packer Bans Mariah’s Annual Christmas Hit From All Crown Venues
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some sad news for recreational and problem gamblers, Mariah Carey's Annual smash hit 'All I Want For Christmas Is You, has been banned from all Crown venues.
Like...
Scotty From Marketing Calls Press Conference To Discuss ISIS Or Unions Or Some Other Shit
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Just months after the Federal and Queensland governments pushed through laws to arrest the extinction rebellion activists that were shutting down the...
Scotty From Marketing Worried Quiet Australians Expect Him To Keep The Promise Of Having A Go
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
While both online and print media doing their very best to downplay the hundreds of bushfires currently ravaging the nation's east coast,...
Mate Who Can Recite Names Of 150 Original Pokemon Claims To Have Forgotten Whose Round It Is
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Finding out who your fake friends are doesn’t always involve overnight success or binge drinking while active on social media.
In the case of...
Year 11s Now Trapped In Unusual And Cruel Year 12 Purgatory
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
As the only students older than them are now in the Gold Coast learning that the things that make adulthood the most appealing...
Friday Arvo: Intern Waits Patiently For Someone More Senior To Make First Move On Office Fridge
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT
After a hard week of unpaid labour, intern Willie Mehan was pretty keen to get stuck into a much-deserved beer or, like,...
Westpac CEO’s $2.7M Golden Handshake Great Example Of How If You Have A Go You’ll Get A Go
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The outgoing Westpac CEO Brian Hartzer has today been praised for his undying commitment to the great Australian spirit of 'having a go.'
Following...
Historians Agree Blue Mountains Got The Name Because Everyone Up There Can Blue
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A collection of high-profile Australian historians have today identified the origins of the name 'Blue Mountains' after centuries of confusion.
While the town's within...
PM Meets With Cricket Side To Discuss The 1.7m Hectares Of NSW Forests Destroyed By Bushfires
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Not even six months after being officially elected as the Australian Prime Minister with absolutely no policies, let alone any acknowledgement of his...
Maths Teacher Upgrades From Toyota Vienta To Rav4 After Nabbing Acting Vice Principal Role
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A committed local educator and pioneer of modern 'hard but fair' disciplinary methods, Mr John Brown (55) is this week hitting his straps,...
