Man Forced To Retrieve Tip After Cute Barista Doesn’t Notice Him Put It In Tip Jar
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
Disaster was narrowly averted this week when café customer Tim Froth almost threw his spare change away for nothing.
Recalling the close shave, property...
Villainous Big Mask Lobby Begin Toasting Champagne After Mission Accomplished
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some news from the dimly lit board rooms of Wall Street and the United Nations building, the men and women who run...
Couple Forced To Save Own Money After Potential Wishing Well Cash Now Off The Table
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Reports of a situation are coming out of a Betoota Sounds home this morning after a bride-to-be is only just now realising the full effect social distancing...
Report Finds Best Way For Girls To Become Friends Is To Find A Mutual Enemy To Bitch About
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A recent report carried out by Betoota University’s Behavioural Science unit has today released some ground-breaking results that might help girls make new...
Dead Plant Was Dying Anyway Says Man Who Paid $6k For His 19-Year-Old Dog To Have Hip Replaced
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
In a somewhat psychopathic turn of events, residents of the affluent suburb Betoota Hills have today witnessed their neighbour basically commit murder.
At 2:03pm...
Local Bloke Asserts Dominance Over Lesser Males By Whipping It Out In The Middle Urinal
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
A local man has asserted his dominance in a public bathroom by deliberately choosing the middle urinal, it’s reported.
Troy Chapman, a local...
Sophisticated New Scam Tricks People Into Handing Over A Third Of Their Income
FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
The ACCC has issued a warning about a sophisticated new scam which aims to trick members of the public into sending approximately a third of...
Nation Really Hoping The Big Fella Hasn’t Ducked Off For School Holidays Again
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After nearly a week of radio silence from the Prime Minister's office, there is growing fears that Scotty From Marketing may have made...
Andrews: “I’d Also Be Locking Down The Luxury High-Rises If Anyone Fucken Lived In Them”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Victorian Premier Daniel Andrew has today had to admit to the fact that Melbourne's property market might actually be somewhat of a manipulated...
Victorian Government Forced To Ban Wet Willies
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
As Victoria struggles to cope with the recent localised explosion in COVID-19 cases, an unprecedented ban on Wet Willies has been enacted...
